These days, any woman from her early 20’s forward is an expert on just about all of the dating and relationship advice that’s out there, that both men and women receive. With the number of men women swipe on, interact with on social media and dating ups, and go out on dates (however brief and meaningless most of them turn out to be) otherwise, they become familiar with every behavior and every type of game imaginable that’s played out there by men quickly than ever before- from promising on a first date way more than you can deliver to waiting to respond to a text message to just keep her “wondering” about whether you are into her or not. On average, women analyze men’s behavior much more than the other way around. Girls also exchange dating experiences with their female friends much more than men do. It’s also not a secret that women consume much more dating advice online than men do. And, if you go to just about any type of social gathering involving discussing dating issues, the vast majority of attendees there will be female. Therefore, women naturally become experts at sensing any type of men’s scripted behavior on dates.
This means that today’s woman is much more likely to detect any behavior that’s artificial, where the guy would be following some type of learned plan to get her interested in him, which will be a huge turn-off. Let’s take the most simple example. Let’s say you learned (and rightfully so) that you shouldn’t be talking about yourself too much on a date, and that you should be showing interest in your date instead. Then, if you adopt this advice by shooting one question after another on a date non-stop, that woman is going to know very quickly that you are doing this not because you really have all these questions for her, but because you are following some type of script to get her more interested in you, and this will have the exact opposite effect. The same applies to any other advice – from joking to touching and physical escalation of every kind. There is so much helpful information out there about how to amplify sexual tension and attraction. However, if you act during intimacy like you are following some type of guidebook on pleasuring her, this will become obvious to the woman faster than you can imagine. I suppose the more simple and obvious example of this would be the “three-day rule”. Believe it or not but just a few decades ago, waiting three days to return a call actually worked to create some type of romantic intrigue. Can you even imagine today anything but negative or no reaction at all to waiting to respond to a text message for one day? And three days later – that others will probably not even remember who you are.
It’s great to learn about how to become better at dating from all kinds of sources, including from your own mistakes. However, you should never lose sight of the most basic, common sense principle of dating – you should treat each person you meet as a human, have a normal conversation with them, and adjust your words and actions according to who that specific person is and the unique dynamic between the two of you. After all, the same compliment, the same joke, and the same advance to touch, kiss, etc., is going to evoke a very different reaction from person to person depending on who they are, how they feel about you, and what kind of mood and mindset they are in at that specific moment.
