When She Asks “Are You on Facebook?”

adding girls on facebook flirtingAs you may know from many of my past videos and articles I am a big believe in the idea that in order to be attractive to the opposite you need to be different. I have been discuss this from different angles for over nine years. In this digital age, being different is even more important than ever before, because the competition in the dating world  today is more fierce than ever before. After all, today both men and women have access to so many more potential “candidates” because of social media and of course online dating, where you have an opportunity to make contact with hundreds or even thousands of people that you would have never have a reason or an opportunity to talk to.

Luckily, in many cases, being different is quite easy. Just don’t do what everyone else. One thing, for instance, that every other guy does that you should avoid doing is adding the girls you meet on Facebook. Just don’t do it. You are not that kind of guy. You are different. You know better and you expect more  – from yourself and from the girls you meet and talk to. If you ask a girl for her e-mail or her phone number after making it clear in so many words that you would like to ask her out, and she asks you “Are you on Facebook?”, you should respond with “Why?”  and see how she handles that come-back from you. You can be sure that no guy ever questioned her Facebook invitations before you have. Some girls will be impressed by this kind of response, while others will be put off, but you really have nothing to lose in that case. Becoming Facebook friends with the girl you had romantic/sexual interest in is a weak and passive move that makes you a certified beta, and throws you straight in her massive pool of Facebook “friends” which is even worse than the dreaded friends zone. Being one of her countless Facebook buddies is the quickest to blend in instead of standing out, like you should.

Most girls will tell you that if they like a guy and he asks them for their phone number / e-mail, they are going to give it to him and they are not going to try to downgrade things to Facebook anyway. In other words, when “Are you on Facebook?” is a response to your request for a girl contact information, it’s an early but fairly reliable sign that she is just not that into you, and it’s probably time for you to move on.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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christine
christine
5 years ago

Nothing wrong with Facebook if you like that sort of thing; but not sure its easy to to separate the FRIENDS thing from the dating ………I don’t know if i would be quite ready for him to see all my friends and family (or things I’ve done & awful photos I might have on there.) right at the beginning of the relationship! He will see them in time but its way too much info for me to be giving out right away! (Not that i am hiding anything!) I’m quite fussy with who I tell everything too. They have to earn my trust first.

practicalh
5 years ago
Reply to  christine

Setting correct privacy settings should take care of this problem. There is no reason for anyone to snoop around your page and try to figure things out and assume things about who you are until they actually get to know you.

StarsCollide
StarsCollide
5 years ago

Nowadays many people are on Facebook. It is easy to search for their name or look it up on someone’s friend’s of friend’s list… unless they made it difficult to be stalked. I know someone who is on Facebook, but something tells me I should leave their profile alone. Being friends on Facebook makes it easy to see what’s new in their life and doesn’t bring curiousity about them.

practicalh
5 years ago
Reply to  StarsCollide

In addition, people assume way too much based on what they see on Facebook. Just because a guy is hugging a girl doesn’t mean he is in love with her or dating her. Just because he has a picture with a surfboard doesn’t mean that he is an airhead. The same with girls – just because a girl has a picture of standing with her friends at a club doesn’t mean that she parties every night.