Why You Should Stay Away From Fancy Restaurants on Your First Date

first date mistake expensive fancy restaurantThere are at least three compelling reasons why you should stay away from fancy, high-end restaurants on your first date, regardless of who you are, who the girl you are asking out is, and how much money you make:

1. Expensive Restaurants are Counterproductive to Developing Intimacy

Think of a typical expensive restaurant –  an overly formal atmosphere, table cloth, a stuffy clientele and uptight waiters who take everything way too seriously. You sit far away from each other and are forced to focus on what’s on your plate instead of focusing on each other. The waiting staff keeps coming to your table every three minutes and interrupting your conversation with “how is everything?” Many people also feel uncomfortable eating a full meal with someone who they barely know. Look at the picture above. This is a classic example of a setting that you should not be in on a first date. Look at how they both look at their food rather than at each other.

2. Inviting a Girl to an Expensive Restaurant Sends the Wrong Message

Taking a girl out on a first date to an expensive restaurant suggests that you are trying to buy her time and that you are not worth meeting and spending time with otherwise, unless you buy her that overpriced plate of sushi and a glass of high-end wine.  This is not the kind of message you want to send to a woman on a first date, unless you actually believe that you really are that boring, and that you have nothing else to give to a woman of value except money to pay for an expensive meal.

3. Trips to Fancy Restaurants Should be Saved for Special Occasions

Not to suggest that a first date cannot be a special occasion, but you should save your fine dining adventures for later, when you have something to celebrate –  a birthday, an anniversary of dating each other, etc. A generous gesture is far more meaningful when it comes from someone you have gotten to know and developed feeling for. A trip to a fine restaurant with the guy who the girl has gotten to know and has feeling for is a far more significant occasion to her than going to the same place with the guy she barely knows.  Wait till you get to know each other and until you develop the kind of connection that would make you want to treat her to a special meal, and then go there and splurge on both of you at that great restaurant.

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Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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7 years ago

I think the physical distance between the people is the biggest issue and it actually creates mental distance too. It make it harder to connect on any level when you sit further away from each other. This is yet another reason that coffee houses with smaller tables or even couches are better for first date.