Just about every guy has been through this – he meets a girl, she seems to be really into him, they have a great time on a date and maybe even make out or end up in bed the same night or shortly after. They make plans to see each other in the future and the girl tells him in so many words that she really likes him and can’t wait to see him again. He is really flattered, and he is full of that euphoric anticipation of talking to her and seeing her again soon. He texts her the next day to tell her that he had a great time with her, and that he is looking forward to seeing her again. However, he gets no response. He wonders whether there is something wrong with her cellphone, and perhaps she didn’t get his text message. He calls her. She doesn’t pick up. He leaves a sweet message and he also e-mails her. But he never hears back from her. How, he is really confused. He goes around asking friends about what he could have possibly done wrong. He is also looking for answers on various dating advice sites and online forums as to how and why a girl would change her mind like that so quickly, so radically and seemingly for no reason.
There is simply no way for you to know for sure why that girl suddenly doesn’t want to talk to you. It’s possible that she was on a rebound after breaking up or having a fight with her (ex)boyfriend. Or maybe she decided in her mind that for whatever reason you two are not a good fit, but it took her a few hours to come to that conclusion, whether it’s true or not. Maybe she is confused at this point in her life about what and who she wants to date. Maybe she is seeing someone else and she decided that she prefer to see where things go with that other guy rather than start dating you. These are just few of the many reasons why someone you thought liked you and wanted to continue seeing you would disappear.
The bottom line, however, is that these experiences are hurtful and frustrating. Some guys choose to hate women for this unpredictable behavior, seeking comfort and accusing women of being flaky, illogical and otherwise awful. However, at the end of the day this approach won’t change anything for you and won’t benefit you in any way. A far more constructive way to handle these kinds of experiences that would benefit you is to take the following two steps after any such experience:
1. Ask Yourself Honestly If You Have Done Something Wrong
Look back as objectively as possible at your entire interaction with that girl and ask yourself whether you could have done something to turn her off. Were you too pushy, sending a message to her that you are only interested in sex? Or were you not aggressive enough under the circumstances? Did you neglect to show the most basic manners to her, such as opening doors, offering to carry her heavy bag or putting your coat on her shoulders when it was cold out? Did you tell a joke that offended her, even though she didn’t react to it right then and there, but could have realized later that it was very offensive to her? Were you just talking too much, or not talking enough, making things awkward? Asking yourself these and similar question might help you in figuring out what went wrong and try to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
2. Take her disappearance with the “What doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger” attitude.
These kinds of experiences are a natural part of dating life. Any guy who has been dating around will tell you how many times he met girls who would not reciprocate his interest and would stop returning his calls, text messages, etc. This kind of behavior is an inevitable and integral part of dating experience. Learning how to handle these kinds of disappointment is part of becoming a stronger and a more mature man, who knows how to handle these negative experiences, turn them into positive and move forward without letting a few uninterested women drag him down emotionally.