One of the more puzzling, disappointing and frustrating dating experiences for men is having women who seem to be interested in them disappear suddenly and unexpectedly. You go out with a girl on a date, who seems to really like you and you even make plans to do things the next time you see each other, and then oops – she doesn’t return your texts or calls. It’s hard for a male mind to understand what could possible drive this type of inconsistent behavior.
Among all possible reasons for this behavior, including being on a rebound, talking to a number of other guys, etc., the most common reason reason women disappear after acting interested is this – they areĀ not really interested in you in a first place. Ā You might be saying – wait, but she was really into me on a date. Ā But, just because the girl acted interested, doesn’t mean that she genuinely intended to get to know you. It’s very likely that she acts interested in every guy she meets, because she is playing the “numbers game” and she believes that coming across as excited and interested is the right way to act with every guy she meets, who she might be interested in, but who is not necessarily interested in now. In other words, acting interest is the proper, polite and strategically right to be “just in case”.
This is more true today than ever before, because Ā this is the age of online dating that brings an infinite amount of men to women through all types of dating sites and apps. More and more women believe that dating is a numbers game, and the more men they meet, the more likely they are to meet Mr. Right – that amazing, special guy who will sweep them off their feet within 30 seconds of meeting them. This attitude is unrealistic and counterproductive for a number of reasons, but nevertheless – it’s extremely common among women, especially in metropolitan areas, where women have access to more Ā men than in smaller towns or rural areas.
So, how does being aware of this female behavior help you? – Well, at the very least it should help you avoid those type of disappointments in women who come across as very interested in you as soon as you meet them and then give you a could shoulder a day or two after. When you meet a woman, don’t assume that she is into you too early on no matter how interested she acts. Chances are she acts like this with most people and specifically – most men she meets. She should prove to you her interest by following through and wanting to see you and talk to you again and again.
This doesn’t mean that you have to assume the worst and act cold and distant when you initially meet women. You can be as warm and as friendly as you wish, but don’t start expecting too much too soon, just because the girl you are talking to is laughing hard at your jokes, stroking her hair, crossing her legs, and leans toward you, especially if she had a few drinks. Real interest takes time to develop, especially in women.
The only way for guys to fight this ridiculous behavior is by not spending a single dollar on any girl unless they sleep with them first. Because trust me and you can spend $1 million if she is not interested, she will go back to the guy who spends nothing on her. This is the truth and you must accept it.
My girlfriend just did this to me. We met online and emailed for a time and told each other about our lives. We both wrote long emails and took things at a good pace. She was interested in everything about me and I told her everything she asked. I did the same with her. And thenā¦. No email no text.. gone gone gone. Makes me sad there was no warning signs. She told me I was special and wanted our relationship to work. Thanks for listening.
Thanks for sharing. This reminds me – moving and escalating too slowly is every bit as bad as being too aggressive too soon. After a few messages women start losing patience, if it’s not growing into anything more, and move on sooner than later.
This is more proof of the inherent advantage women have in today’s society, and how powerless men are to do anything about it, when it comes to initial interest. ‘When you meet a girl, donāt assume that she is into you no matter how interested she acts’ – <—- dating is not merit based for men, but it is for women
'You can be as warm and as friendly as you wish, but donāt start expecting
too much too soon, just because the girl you are talking to is laughing
hard at your jokes, stroking her hair, crossing her legs, and leans
toward you, especially if she had a few drinks. Real interest takes time
to develop, especially in women.' <—- dating is not merit based for men, but it is for women.
'This attitude is unrealistic and counterproductive for a number of
reasons, but nevertheless ā itās extremely common among women,
especially in metropolitan areas, where women have access to more men
than in smaller towns or rural area' <– if its counter productive for women, why don't women and men write more articles denouncing this kind of behavior? Or how it can affect a man's self esteem? Why is this article directed at men? I know I don't want to keep trying and failing just to get a date after each woman disappears after a totally positive interaction. Why in the world is this article aimed toward men, when it should be aimed at women, and saying "don't act this way, it's fucked up, you are fucking up dating for everyone?'. You know why? Because women can do it and get away with it. We constantly lecture men on how to act, but when it comes to women acting interested, and flaking on plans that sometimes SHE suggests – women get a total pass from writers like you, and I'm not surprised. It would affect your business to be realistic about how tough dating has become for men in this new awful world of dating (for men, not for women – unless you count getting exhausted by all the dates you had to go on this week and didn't need to pay for any of them).
This article is not really advice-driven, and the tone has discomfort at admitting how much easier women have it than men in terms of initial interest that they can act totally interested and disappear, and have zero feelings of remorse, or regret about it.. Women constantly rail about inequality, and unfairness, and how the patriarchy is keeping them down at work and how men want them for sex, so they would be too prideful to admit the power they enjoy in getting to interact with whoever they want, whenever they want. Newsflash – when you flake on a guy or disappear after acting like you should get together – you didn't just pass on sex – you passed on a guy wanting to get to know you for you – for who you are beyond sex, and yet, you have the guts to lecture men in articles 'don't just want me for sex! Want me for other things, even though I don't allow that to actually happen so its my fault'
So if you are a woman reading this and you exhibit the behavior noted in this article – note the following – you not only don't get any sympathy from me, but I HOPE a guy you like fucks you in the butt, never calls you back, and brags banging a total whore to his buddies, when you are hoping for a special relationship.
get over it dude. you sound angry, which is why women aren’t interested in you.
Hey Iām just stating my opinion. Guys have to make the first move and face lots and lots of noās before getting a yes. There is no real reason to get a guys hopes up by acting really interested then disappearing, by a fake yes. Unlike a ton of guys, I walk away the second I donāt get a yes, in any context. The least a woman can do is say no, a soft or hard no, and DO NOT ACT flirty or interested in someone you have no intention of meeting up with, you know, do their part in courtship. Itās not fucking rocket science.