Bragging is one of my personal pet peeves in people in any social, professional or romantic context. Bragging is as unattractive in men as it is in women. Usually, when someone brags about how wonderful they are and how accomplished they are, it makes me roll my eyes. When I hear someone talk about how honest, compassionate, and spiritual they are without being asked to comment on their personality by anyone, I automatically assume the opposite. After all, why would they feel the need to say that about themselves, unless they felt that they were lacking in those departments? Even thought this seems obvious, I am very surprised by how many men and women out there continue to be guilty of bragging and in the on-line (dating) world and in “real” life. It starts with selfies on Facebook and Instagram and ends with bragging no LinkedIn and then in person.
For women, bragging is one of the biggest and most common turn-offs in guys. Men are eager to announce to the world how professional, successful and adventurous they are. They love to talk about their new car or a killer work-out routine, and how they like to play hard and work hard. Many women, on the other hand, love to talk about how independent they are and how they can provide for themselves, how they love to have fun, how many interests they have, and how they absolutely love all kinds of food, all kinds of music, and about how much they have got to travel.
Bragging is never attractive on a first date. In fact, it is likely to be extremely annoying to your date. Even if you are an amazing person, your date would much rather find out about how wonderful you are through your actions and through your interaction, rather than by you talking all about how great you are. You don’t have to call yourself smart and intelligent. If you are, and the other person cares about that side of you and they are capable to appreciating it, they will notice it themselves. You don’t have to announce on your date that you are very sarcastic. That quality is usually obvious to whoever you are out with, whether they like it or not.
If you are independent or otherwise financially accomplished, you don’t have to talk about it. Your lifestyle and the choices you make when buying just about anything will speak for themselves – for better or for worse, and will surely be more effective than pumping your chest about how good much of a catch you are.
Bear in mind that any accomplishment is more impressive when it’s accompanied by humility. That’s what’s most impressive and that’s the combination that gains you the most respect and appeal.