Having been meeting and dating all kinds of women from their mid twenties through their late thirties in San Francisco and the surrounding area, I felt compelled to share a list of actual things that some of those women did that were a total turn off sexually form me. I hope that this list proves to be useful to this site’s female audience in making sure that they avoid making the same mistakes with the guys the meet:
1. Not going “all the way”.
What makes girls think that inviting a guy over, getting naked, fulling around, letting him eat her every which way possible but then not putting out is a good idea? I know that some women think that it makes that guy more likely to come back for more if he didn’t get everything he wanted during their first time in bed, but that’s really not what’s going to make him decide between wanting to see her again or not. If anything, going half way or more makes that woman appear as someone who is confused, immature or who is getting off on playing games and teasing guys. Besides, would really like that to be the reason that the guy comes back to see you again, and not because he want to spend time with you and continue getting to know you?
2. Cumming without making sure that the guy cums as well.
Most girls are well aware that the guy that made them orgasm wants to cum just as much or more, and if he doesn’t, he will likely have “blue balls” and will experience other frustration. These women “take care” of the guy if they happened to come first, whether it’s having sex for longer or making him ejaculate with a hand-job / blow-job.
3. Laying in bed with me like a zombie/being frigid.
Being frigid is usually not a girl’s fault, but that doesn’t make it any less of a turn-off when the girl is just laying there as if she was asleep, when I am trying my best to pleasure her. If you don’t enjoy what I am doing to you, this makes it very little fun for me. Either tell me what I am doing wrong, or – if sex is not something that you enjoy, you don’t have to sleep with me to just do me a favor. I know, I know – there are plenty of guys out there who don’t care about whether the girl enjoys sex, as long as they get to ejaculate. I am not one of them, and I know I am not alone.
4. Talking too much during or right before/after sex.
As annoying as it is when a girl (or anyone else for that matter) talks too much, when she talks too much in bed, it’s a total killer of any kind of sexual tension and mystery in bed. I actually told women in so many words on a few occasions before to shut up as their conversation was very distracting.
5. Not letting the guy touch, kiss and lick you wherever he wants.
If the guy finds you hot and desires your body, he probably wants to lick, kiss and eat every part of your body. A few women left me quite unsatisfied that way, making me feel like I left the table hungry, with an unfinished plate of my favorite pie on the table. That’s not the kind of feeling you want to experience again. If the reason you don’t give him full access to some of your body parts with his mouth and tongue is because you feel that you are not clean or pretty enough in that area, get over it. He wouldn’t be asking to go there if he didn’t want it, so it’s definitely pretty and clean enough for him.
6. Making light of his fantasies or fetishes.
I don’t want the girl to laugh or ask me if I am crazy when I am sucking on her toes. I want her to appreciate and enjoy the fact that I want to do that for her.
7. Being visibly grossed out by his sperm.
If you are going to make a face of disgust when I come on your face or chest, then don’t let me do it in the first place. It will save me and you plenty of time, and I will just move to the next girl, because facials is a non-negotiable turn-on unless we both know that it’s just a one-night stand and we both don’t expect anything more from each other. The reason I want to cum in you is not because I have no respect for you or because I feel the need to dominate or humiliate you. The only reason I want to cum in your face is the exact same reason I want to have any other kind of sex with you – I find your face is as sexually desirable and arousing as other more “conventional” parts of your body.
8. Having bad body or vaginal odor.
A certain % of women have an unbearable body or vagina odor. Many of them are very attractive physically and in other respects, but being stinky down there is pretty much a deal breaker.
9. Insisting on light to be turned off.
Sometimes, I am not all that attracted to the woman I am in bed with, and not seeing her body is actually a good idea. However, more often than not I am in bed with you because I think you are hot, and I want to see your body. I don’t expect you to lay under the bright sunlight, but forcing me to turn all the lights off so that I can’t see any of you takes a lot away from the whole experience.
10. Acting like you are doing me a favor.
I want you to want to have sex with me because you want it and you want me. I don’t want you to act like you are doing me a favor or rewarding me with putting out for my good behavior.
By J.T., 37, Northern California