There are certain words and moves that literally telegraph to women lack of confidence and assertiveness in men. These turn-offs to women are as important to know as they are easy to avoid:
1. Texting a girl after you got her phone number.
This is a classic but common, passive behavior that is so unattractive. You got her number – call her. Don’t start with the typical lame “how is your day” or “what are you up to” probing texting that won’t go anywhere. These kinds of messages are especially annoying to a girl who is busy and who can’t simply sit around and text out of boredom, because she is not bored. This is the time for you to show that you are a confident guy and you are not afraid of your own voice. Call her and talk to her. And the more she liked you when she met you the first time, the more she will be happy to hear your voice, rather than getting a text. Although many girls don’t care whether you text or call them the first time you contact them by phone, many of them still have higher standards and they expect the guy to have be bold enough to call rather than text. I am with them on that.
2. Giving or taking your Facebook information instead of phone number.
If you met a girl, the last thing you want to do is downgrade you interaction to Facebook. If you are interested in her, there is no reason to either make her or become one of her 500 Facebook friends. If she asks you “Are you on Facebook?” this is a perfectly opportunity for you to mess with her lightly and ask “Why? Do you think we need a third party to help us talk?” or something along those lines.
3. Giving your number out to girls instead of asking for it.
Realize, that the girl who takes your number is not going to call you. Very few women can hop over the social barrier and call the guy first, even when they are the one who get the guy’s number and when they assure him that they will call him. If you ask the girl for her number and she says: “Why don’t you give me your number instead?” you should say that you are a gentleman, and you believe that the gentleman should be the one calling the lady first. If she still doesn’t give you her phone number, then you say “Never mind” and walk away. She didn’t give you her number because she is either not interested, or too careful for her own good, or socially confused about what she wants. Either way, there is nothing you can or should be doing about it, except leaving her alone.
4. Bragging.
This is another classic beta behavior and a huge turn-off to women. The more you talk about how accomplished and great you are, the more likely you are to come across as an insecure puppy who needs to be patted on his back for all the great things he has done and seen. I seriously doubt that the likes of Bill Gates or Warren Buffet have the need to announce about how successful they are. You are not Bill Gates but you can certainly learn from him how not to try to impress others. You best way of impressing might just be simply not trying to impress.
5. Boring Small talk.
Small talk is meant to be an ice-breaker, not the “meat and potatoes” of your interactions with girls. Making a comment about the weather, her earrings and what’s on your plate during dinner is not going to make you sound interesting to her, and it’s not going to make her want to see you again, if it’s your first date. Overly formal behavior and excessive political correctness are often essential ways of acting in work related situations, where you want to avoid the risk of any kind of disagreement or confrontation at all costs, but it has little or no place in your interactions with women. Being too stiff and too formal with women is an express, one-way ticket to boring the girl to death or, at best, ending up in a friends zone, which I am sure you want to avoid.
@ Mic Thanks for your thoughts. It’s perfectly fine if a girl doesn’t answer the phone. None of us can be expected to answer the phone all the time. That’s what voicemail is for. It should be as simple as leaving a message. Some girls have a difficult time returning phone calls and voice message, but if that’s the case with any particular girl, it’s a sure sign that she has communication or time management issues that will probably make her undateable anyways, so you might as well find it out sooner than later.
And, of course, just because the girls asks you to text, doesn’t mean you have to follow that request. A common answer should be: “Text? Ewwwww…. I will call you.” or something along those lines.
In women’s defense, they are so used to lame texting that they don’t even expect anymore for a guy to call them, but many would still very much prefer that. Of course, a boring phone conversation is even worse than boring texting, but that’s another topic.
Hello! Do you have an article about "How to pass a woman's TESTS.?" How do you know when you are being tested? And what kind of tests do women do? Women often challenge you through her words or actions and if you fail the tests that is a huge turn-off for them… And I think it's pretty frustrating for men…
Yes, sir. The link is below. Also, there is a search feature on the site, so, for instance, if you search "tests" you will find this article: https://www.practicalhappiness.com/how-to-pass-wom…
I agree with all of these 5 rules, however the first one i believe can be deceptive. I’m newly single and have been testing the waters a bit.. I’m not mega keen to start dating again as im still living with my ex and am enjoying my free time, but ive been throwing a few txts out there and ended up ringing one girl recently. The girl i rang fizzled quite quickly when i started sending her boring msgs. This was ok though as i had obtained more attractive girls numbers since i got her number and i sort of decided that she wasn’t really my type.
I then sent some txts out to the other girls who told me to txt them. These however did not go too far either. I remember 3 years ago when i was single, some girls would only txt and hated people ringing them and disturbing them. Perhaps girls are even more frustrated with txts than ever before now ? Not sure.
Anyway I too agree though that if your serious about a girl a bold phone call over an initial text will always win, even if they don’t answer. On the flip side though i have rang a number of girls and they wont answer their phones. This can be very annoying but you soon discover that these are usually the girls that are not interested anyway.
With the facebook rule, only with dating sites this applies too, adding a girl on fb or even scoping their page can often unlock a lot of secrets or hidden photos which some girls may hide. So fb can often be beneficial for the online dater. Those are 5 good rules though nice work.