Some people like to point out that they have great, fulfilling life, a great job and an active social lifestyle, and they don’t need a partner, as they are prefectly fine to be alone, but they would like to have someone to go out with, date and have fun with. When I hear this, I can’t help but ask them: “Come on, are you really that happy being alone and not dating anyone? Can all these things you list that make your life so great make up for not having that special someone in your life with whom you would have romantic and sexual connection?”
Recognizing and accepting that you do feel lonely at times when you are single, and that you need to find that person who you have chemistry with is an important step toward accepting how you feel and what you want out of your life. This kind of confession to self and to others doesn’t make you needy or desperate. Wait, maybe it does make you a little desperate. So what?Who said that being desperate every now and then is such a bad thing? Don’t we all get desperate at times? I am still waiting for one person out there to come out and say it straight up: “I am kind of desperate – I am desperate for love, affection, attention, intimacy, and sex. I want someone to like me, to care for me and to miss me when I am not around. I want to touch and be touched.”
The moment you stop worrying so much about coming across as desperate and don’t let that concern govern your behavior and your actions, you will come across as a far more genuine and forward person. You will make eye contact more often with the people around you. You will stop trying to prove how busy you are by waiting for three days to return someone’s call, and you will talk to him/her when you actually want to do it. Instead of analyzing that that person’s facebook page and their relationship status, you will simply call and ask what it is that you want to know about them.
This is soo true. People get so lost in the small details that they miss the big picture. They get so dead-set on competing against other guys and being different, that they’re the same as any other insecure guy.
People take it to big extremes.
Yes, there are guys that constantly call her every day, text her whenever she writes a sad facebook status, take on the role as her personal therapist, shower her with gifts and put her on a pedestal, and they end up in the “friend zone”.
But this doesn’t mean it’s necessary to go to the other extreme and show little to no affection at all. As long as you have the mindset that you are just as valuable of a person as she is and that she isn’t the only woman you’ll meet for a while, it’s fine to show some more affection.