Every now and then I hear how a guy and a woman would start things on a wrong foot from the very beginning – even before they go out on that first date. The unnecessary issues start as early as trying to set up that first date – during their very first phone conversation or texting exchanges. For instance, recently, I tried to introduce one of my guy friends to a girl. During their first phone conversation, they were unable to arrange the time to meet. The girl wanted to meet the same day in the afternoon, but my friend was not available, as he had to work at his company’s satellite office which was over an hour drive away. She then told him that she was going to be busy every single evening for at least that whole week and will not be able to meet him until the following week. When I asked her if it isn’t too long to wait to go out, she said “Well, if he really wants to meet me, he will wait and he will make himself available, when I have the time to meet him.” To me, the above kind of response begs the question – why is she expecting that guy to pursue her that much, if he knows nothing about her and hasn’t even met her yet? Why would he be so interested in her and why would he be chasing a girl that he hasn’t even gone out once with. If anything, his motivation to pursue her at that point was likely going to drop, seeing how difficult it was to plan a date with her.
It’s perfectly fine and even natural for a woman to expect to be pursued and courted by the guy who likes her and who wants to be with her, and this has been the order of things for many generations. But like in many other things, the timing – the timing of expecting this is important. She should expect him to pursue her after they meet and spend enough time with each other, so that the guy starts believe that he likes a woman so much that he wants to go after her and pursue her, whatever that might mean in their situation.
Expecting the guy you just met to treat you like he is in love with you, when he knows nothing about you, is neither reasonable nor realistic. On the other hand, acting like a great, classy, interesting, funny and feminine woman, who can manage her time, and who can make time for the things she likes to do and people she wants to see would be nothing short of impressive to most guys, especially today when not too many people have these traits and abilities.