Why Single Women Are So Concerned About Appearing Desperate

(Last Updated On: 08/04/2013)

A male reader asks: “This girl I met called me but didn’t leave a message. I text her and asked if she called. She said yes, but she accidentally hung up, and didn’t want to redial so that she doesn’t look like a stalker. Why would a girl feel that way?”

Many of our actions or rather inaction is lead by fear of coming across as desperate. This especially applies to women. Waiting to return a phone call, taking hours or even days to return a text message, not being available on Friday/Sat nights even if they are available – these are some of the typical examples of the things women do to make sure they don’t come across as too needy or desperate. What they often don’t understand is that letting that concern of coming across as desperate lead their life and behavior to such a significant degree makes them way more desperate than being prompt or being available, even if it doesn’t appear that way to guys. This is how you feel about your behavior is just as important or even more important than the impression it makes on others.

This is exactly why the girl in this case didn’t redial and leave you a message. It wouldn’t be a big deal at all, and no guy in his right mind would think that she is being desperate or a stalker, but… that’s her mindset. You can’t do much about it, except let it go and later, when you talk and establish some kind of connection and you can bring it up in a casual and joking matter: “Hey… for the record, redialing is not a criminal offense and doesn’t make anyone a stalker”.

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Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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