I remember taking a bus through the city and sitting next to a girl. I wasn’t even thinking about talking to her as I was consumed with my cellphone conversation with a friend (in a foreign language). As soon as I got of the phone, she said: “Wow, that sounded interesting…” We started talking and the more we talked, the more I realized how nice, sweet and attractive she was – the true, local San Franciscan. I told her early on what stop I got off on, and we had to cut our conversation as she reminded me that my stop was coming up. I started wondering during those few second before getting off the bus how to ask for her phone number, but didn’t have the guts. It felt so easy and so natural, because of her very easygoing attitude, but still – something held me back. I got off the bus, thinking that I should jump back, and get off on the next stop, but the silly, unfounded thought that will be “weird” creeped into my mind. I continued standing by the bus. Ironically, a person in a wheelchair was going up the special stairs into the bus, which made the bus stick around for an extra minute or two with the doors open. I stood there like the biggest coward, continuing to think whether I should jump back on that bus or not.
I didn’t. I let the bus go. As soon as the bus left, however, I felt the biggest pain of regret – a much greater pain than any rejection can ever cause. I was laughing at the situation and at myself. How could I not get her number? It bothered me for a few days, but that was also the time of monumental change in my attitude and behavior. I made it a point to remember very well how it felt not taking advantage of a great opportunity that some force generously brought into my life, and I reminded to myself that it is more bothersome than any awkward conversation or any “no” from a girl who I asked for a phone number. From then on, whenever I had a good opportunity to talk to a girl and get her number and I hesitated, I reminded myself of how I was going to feel if I didn’t make a move, which was very effective in eliminating the fear of approaching women and getting their number.
Try to use the same exercise. The next time you don’t take advantage of a great situation to meet, talk and get a woman’s number, stop and think about how it feels, and how it makes you think of yourself. Remember the bitter regret you experience and make it a point to carry a small drop of that bitterness with you into the future, so when you can meet other girls, you can remind to yourself that there is nothing worse than not taking advantage of existing opportunities. This will likely be of great help in your ability to make a step forward, no matter how awkward that step is, and talk to her / ask for her telephone number.
