The Case Against Double Texting Women

You texted her some time before that first date or after.  She hasn’t responded. Now you’re wondering whether you should send another one.

Maybe she missed it. Maybe she forgot to reply. Maybe a funny follow-up will get the conversation going again? My advice: leave it alone. Look around you just about anywhere you go. People and especially women are constantly checking their phones. Most women seem to be holding their phones in their hand the entire time they are out. Unless there is some truly unusual issue, it’s highly unlikely that she missed your message.  

The problem with double texting is that you’re often trying to solve a lack of interest with more attention. Your first message already told her you wanted to talk. A second message doesn’t make that clearer. It simply tells her that you’re waiting for an answer.

“Hey, did you get my message?” “Busy?” “Guess you forgot about me.”

These messages rarely make you more appealing. They turn an invitation to talk into a request for an explanation. Now she has to respond to your impatience as well as your original message. And if she barely knows you… this will hardly generate more interest from her. Even a supposedly playful follow-up can have the same effect. You may think you’re being cute, while she experiences it as another notification from someone who won’t let the conversation rest. Eventually, your messages can start to feel like persistent spam, especially if make one or more of these texting mistakes. 

Maybe she isn’t interested. Maybe she’s talking to someone else. Maybe she enjoyed your date but doesn’t want another one.  Maybe she just has other priorities. Maybe she is just not sure whether to respond and when. You don’t need to determine which explanation is correct before deciding what to do. 

This isn’t a strategy for making her chase you. Don’t sit there counting hours or planning the perfect moment to reappear. Put the phone down and get on with your life. If she responds later, you can decide whether you still want to talk.