One essential quality to being attractive to women that isn’t mentioned nearly as often as it should in all the dating and relationship advice books out there is self control. I would like to elaborate more specifically on four aspects of how and why self-control affects just about every stage of your dating and relationships with women, in part because it is such a major element of confidence with women and also for other reasons:
Self Control in Dating
At initial stages of dating a girl, shortly after you meet her, self control means resisting the urge to be too eager and to “double check” with her whether she got your text message or voicemail or e-mail. She did and there is no reason to “follow up” with her on that by sending repeated texts or calling over and over, as that will only annoy her and will make her want to stay away from you more than just about anything else.
Self control in early stages of dating also means resisting the desire to tell the girl how special and how amazing she is at least until it is obvious to you that you are just special to her. You simply cannot hurt yourself and your relationship with the girl you like by telling her all about how great she is later than earlier.
Self-Control and Sex
Self-control in the context of physical intimacy means not letting the initial rejection of your physical advances disappoint of frustrate you, but instead being patient and respect the girl’s need for more time to feel more comfortable with you, so that she can enjoy being intimate with you. Remember, if the girl likes you and she spends time with, the initial “no” usually means “not now” or “not yet”.
Self-Control In Relationships
Self-control with your relationship partner means not letting anger and jealousy drive your actions, and not doing things out of spite or out of revenge. Just because it appears to you that she is flirting with some other guy doesn’t mean that you have to get back at her by flirting with a girl in front of her. Just because she breaks some of your stuff out of anger when you fight, doesn’t mean that you have to get even with her by tearing up her clothes and throwing away her make-up. That kind of behavior is unworthy of any guy who is beyond his teen years. Remember, a major part of being a man is knowing when and how to be “the bigger man”.
Self-control in a relationship also means not fighting the petty fights that are not worth fighting. Principles are important, and you should stand your ground on issues and values that are truly significant and important to you. Which restaurant to go to and which desert to order once you are there isn’t one of those important issues. The same probably applies to how you decorate your living room and what color carpet you are going to have at that new place you are moving in together.
Self-Control When Breaking Up
Having self control when you break up means committing and following through with not contacting your ex, as hard as it might be. It also means not checking their Facebook status, not calling and hanging up on them just to hear their voice, not asking mutual friends about them and not wondering what it would be like getting back together, unless you believe there is real hope and mutual desire to get back together because you are so special to each other.