When He/She is Late for Your Date, but Doesn’t Apologize?

Suppose your date or someone you have started seeing is about half an hour or more late to meet you without letting you know in advance. Depending on how many things you had to do and rearrange to be there on time, you might be more or less upset about it. Then, when she shows up, she doesn’t even apologize and acts like nothing bad happened.

How do you respond? Do you brush it off and act like nothing bad happened?

I encourage you not to, as it neither serves you or your date. You should call her on that semi-playfully, and make her aware that you were not happy about waiting and about her not having the courtesy to let you know she is running late. Then, see if she apologies. If she doesn’t, and if she starts getting defensive, i.e. “What’s a big deal?” etc, you should just cut that date right then and there, as that behavior is completely unacceptable.

You might think that I encourage you to throw tantrums and make a big deal out of something small. However, this kind of blunt response does not make you overly dramatic or emotional. It makes you real. When you you make it clear that you won’t tolerate second-class behavior and treatment, you are sending the right kind of message to the other person about yourself. If you are girl, it shows your healthy degree of self-esteem and self-respect. If you are a guy, it shows that you are definitely not a “beta” and you won’t put up with inconsiderate or disrespectful behavior. To the right girl, this kind of approach on your part will actually be attractive, and she might realize that you have a point.

Some guys assume that brushing something this small off and acting like nothing happened is the right way to show that you are calm and confident. However, tolerating inconsiderate treatment will usually backfire. The more you you put up with, the more she will think she can get away with, and the more inconsiderate she will be towards you as a result. This is just human nature. People tend to push until someone stops them, and it’s so much easier to stop someone earlier than later.

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Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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9 years ago

Great advice. This applies to other things too, besides being late. It's important to know when to recognize that you are wrong and apologize sincerely. Most things can be easily forgiven if the apology comes promptly and with the right attitude.

practicalhappiness (
9 years ago
Reply to  jimmyk

Yes, often people just don't get it. It's not the fact that they are late that's bothersome, but it's how they handle it that makes them come across as all to egotistical and self-absorbed.