One of the most common questions guys ask me when they seek dating advice is how to impress a woman who they like and who they are thinking about asking out, or they have already asked out on a date. This desire to impress is understandable. The guy wants to put his best foot forward with a woman and make her like him as much as possible and as soon as possible, and also realize that he is different and better than the other guys that might be interested in her, or she might be interested in.
However, what most guys don’t realize is this:
the best way to impress a woman on a date or at any other time is by not trying to impress her at all.
Think about it – we all know that women find confidence to be one of the most attractive qualities in guys. But what is confidence exactly? And what makes a guy come across as confident with women? Well, it’s exactly that – not trying to impress any woman but acting exactly the same way he would if he weren’t around her. That’s what makes a guy attractive and even sexually desirable to a woman – being “natural,” “normal” and “himself.” Virtually any way to purposely impress a woman, such as taking her out to very expensive dinners, buying her generous gifts, driving too fast, bragging about your wealth and accomplishments, etc., will only make you less attractive in her eyes because it screams insecurity: “Please like me, please take me, look how much I do for you to impress you, don’t you see how much I care about you, don’t you want to compensate me for all my efforts?”
But guess what – women usually say “no” unless they want to take advantage of you. They smell insecurity and desperation on a guy who is eager to show them how much he cares about them. They are not attracted to the guy who does everything they want way too early and way too much. You must avoid being that guy if you want to intrigue a woman and get her interested in you.
A woman who wants a lover and not a sponsor would much rather be with a man who doesn’t need to prove himself to her but who believes in his own worth and in his ability to attract her with who he is by simply spending time with her. A truly confident guy’s frame of mind is this: “I am a great guy, I am fun, funny, and interesting. I am not interested in most women, but like you, and I want to share with you my time, space. I want to share with you my knowledge, views and opinions on things because they are valuable and interesting. And if that’s not enough for you – if that’s not what makes you interested to be with me, then I am sorry – I am not the one for you.”
This means that the next time you meet a girl and you are thinking about asking her out, you should stop worrying once and for all about what the two of you will be doing on your date. The moment you feel the pressure to impress her by the exciting things you will be doing on your first date, you should stop and ask yourself: why do I need to impress her? Is this because it’s not going to be fun for us to just spend time together over a cup of tea and while talking a simple walk together? If the answer to these questions is “yes” in your mind, this means that either you are not a good match, or you are not ready to go out and be as confident and attractive as you should be and you should work on that before you go out with the next girl.
Make no mistake about it – women can tell when you try too hard to impress them and few things turn them off more than a man’s desperate attempt to seek validation and reassurance from a woman and be liked at any cost. So, remember – the best way to impress a woman is by not trying to impress her!
