Like defining a classy woman, defining what being a classy guy means is not an easy task. There is probably no one clear definition or one trait or quality that makes a man classy. However, there are several specific characteristics that you have to have in order to be considered a classy man. Some of these factors are more basic than others, but they are all important and make a man overall more attractive and desirable to quality single women. Below are eleven of these key factors that make a man classy or at the very least more classy than he would otherwise be, that you should consider developing, if you would like to become a (more) classy guy:
1. A classy guy does not try too hard.
Have you ever heard someone say “wow, he is really trying way too hard” in reference to someone being too flashy or tacky with his clothes, his car, watch, jewelry, hair gel, being too loud in public and/or too drunk, etc… I assure you that it wasn’t a compliment. When a guy tries too hard, and usually in all the wrong ways, it’s hard to imagine how he could possibly be considered classy by a woman who is smart enough and experienced enough to know class and real confidence when she sees it. This doesn’t mean that you have to be a wall flower. But, when it looks like you are trying way too hard to be noticed, it necessarily means that you are way too eager to impress those around you and to draw attention to you at any cost, whether it’s true or not, and that’s very unattractive. Surely, anything that you do that would make it look like you belong in “Jersey Shore” show does not make you classy. Too many muscles, tattoos, piercings, hair / skin product, and too much of anything will make a guy as trashy as the girl who would do the same. It has been suggested in the PUA community that peacocking is one effective way to show confidence and to attract women. However, more often than not, an attempt at peacocking would make a guy look more like a clown than anything else.
2. A classy guy is an educated guy.
Some might discount the importance of book smarts, but there is a correlation between having a higher academic education and being more classy. Street smarts are just as important, and surely school doesn’t always make you smarter or more confident or more interesting. However, all things equal, a degree from a known school is likely to add to who you are. A classy guy knows how to write and how to speak properly. This doesn’t mean that you have to go to the best and most expensive school or sound like a pompous ivy school graduate when you talk, or that you have to be as good at public speaking as Obama, but it does mean that you have to know how to write and speak properly and coherently – whether you learn it in class or anywhere else doesn’t make difference, as long you do. The best women out there are impressed by guys who are eloquent, articular and know how to express themselves in writing. This doesn’t mean that you have to talk non-stop around women or write long e-mails to them, but it does mean that when you do – you should do it right.
3. A classy guy has basic manners.
This doesn’t just apply to basics such as opening doors to women, putting your coat over her shoulders when it’s cold out, and having proper table manners. This also applies to how you conduct yourself in difficult situations – i.e. when you are angry or are supposed to be angry, when you lose, when you confront someone, when you are tired and frustrated. Ask yourself why Roger Federer is considered such an exceptionally classy guy. In large part it’s because he knows how to handle adversity in tennis better than the vast majority of other tennis players. He knows how to lose with grace. He doesn’t get angry or rude on the court and he doesn’t make up excuses. This shows both class and incredible inner strength. Being strong and knowing how to handle challenging situations doesn’t mean you have to act like a robot or not have feelings. But it does mean that you are able to make the most out of difficult situations, and you don’t let those situations drag you down emotionally.
4. A classy guy is reliable and not flaky.
A classy guy does what he says he will when he says he will. He does not waste the time of others or his own. He follows through, and he is not a flake – socially, professionally or with girls. He does his best to keep his promises, and he is not in a habit of over-promising and under-delivering. He expects the same from others and he doesn’t settle for second class behavior such as flaking, or cancellations with short notice for no good reason.
5. A classy guy doesn’t have victim mentality.
A classy guy doesn’t walk around bitching and complaining about how difficult his life is and how many unique challenges he is facing. He doesn’t think that his boss and his co-workers, his friends and everyone else has conspired against him to make his life miserable. He handles the problems he has without blaming the world around him for having those challenges, and he understands that the difficulties he experiences day in and day out are a natural part of life.
6. A classy guy is not bored with his life.
A classy guy is occupied with doing the things he likes and wants. He has specific plans for the present and the future. He also has hobbies and interests that make his life interesting. He can maintain an interesting conversation beyond the small talk and the pleasantries on many topics. He also knows how to listen actively and respond to what he hears in a way that makes a conversation more stimulating and interesting.
7. A classy guy leads a healthy lifestyle and knows the value of moderation.
Having class necessarily means not drinking or smoking or gambling excessively, and not letting common addictions or other bad habits take over your life. Moderation doesn’t mean being boring or lacking in sense of adventure. It means balance and inner stability.
8. A classy guy is not flashy and is not into bragging and chest beating.
Arrogance, chest beating and bragging, and being classy simply don’t go together. The most vivid example of how being flashy kills any class is the hip hop culture, where the stars show off their cars, jewelry and are otherwise being laughable despite their huge bank accounts.
Nothing accentuates being classy more than any kind of success or accomplishment which is coupled with being humble and modest about it. You will come across as much more classy when you have something to show for yourself but you don’t make a big deal out of it. Don’t try to impress others with what you have or what you have done. Instead, let them form their own positive impressions of what and who you are based on what they see.
9. A classy guy knows his way with women sexually.
Although everyone has their own unique ways of behaving in bed, a classy guy has the basic understanding of what it takes to please a woman and to make his intimate time with her special and exciting. He doesn’t do things that ruin the moment, and he knows how to create and maintain romantic and sexual tension with the right person at the right time.
The above list might just be the starting point on your journey toward becoming more classy. But it’s a good place to start looking at some of the major aspects of your behavior and personality and ask yourself candidly – where are you lacking and what could you improve about yourself in order to become a more classy guy?
10. A classy guy knows when and how to apologize when he is in the wrong
Being able to say that you are sorry is a major sign of strength, whether you apologize to woman, a friend, or anyone else. Having an ego that prohibits you from apologizing can be a serious obstacle to handling routine disagreements.
11. A Classy Guy Knows How to Handle Losses and Disappointments
It’s easy to win and celebrate, but it’s so much harder and more impressive to take defeats and disappointments with grace, without letting anger and frustration take over. Knowing how to handles difficult situations and losses is a sign of both masculine strength and class. This doesn’t mean that you should strive for being non-human. It’s perfect normal to be angry and upset. It’s how you handle and overcome those negative emotions that define your masculinity and class. Do you take your issues on others? Do you make up excuses? Do you try to drown your problems in alcohol? Or do you go to the gym or a dance floor to blow off some steam and unwind?