About a month ago, my father shared a funny analogy with me. He told me that it is very important for guys in a relationship to remember that fighting with women should be done the same way as handling a storm in at least three fundamental ways:
1. You need to know that the storm is inevitable and it’s coming sooner or later, even if you do everything right in a relationship.
It may not happen this week or this month, but it is inevitable to have confrontation with the woman you are dating for while, especially if you really like each other, as you will care more about each other’s actions and opinion, you will be expecting more from each other, and you will be more angry or at least irritated if those expectations are not met. So be ready for to argue and fight. This doesn’t make you or your partner a bad person and it’s just part of being in a relationship.
2. Often, the best way to handle the storm is simply wait it out.
Just because a woman is angry or acting irrationally, doesn’t mean that you have to engage with her in every fight and match her anger. This doesn’t mean that you should be indifferent or disregard her anger. You just shouldn’t act the same way as she does. You don’t need to argue every single point in order to prove that you are right and she is wrong. Chances are that in a few minutes or in a few hours, she will realize that she went too far, and she will be the one regretting her behavior and telling you how sorry she is about losing her temper and/or hurting your feelings.
3. Jumping into the storm is probably going to hurt you.
Although sometimes you have to confront the girl who is being angry and confrontational and push back, most fights are not worth fighting, and you should resist the urge to be as loud and as dramatic as she is, or trade insults with her in order to get even, as this never lead to anything good.
As noted in so many words in number 2 above, part of being a “real man” today, as it has always been, is having a thicker skin and not letting a woman’s anger downgrade your own behavior when you are fighting. And if she likes and cares about your know despite your disagreements and fights, your mature and masculine response to her occasional erratic behavior will make you all the more attractive to her.
This doesn’t mean that you should let her walk all over you or put up with anything that she does or say. This does mean that if you love her and she is very kind and sweet to you most of the time, let her have her occasional outbursts. You may just be surprised to know that many women are well aware of their own emotions and they too understand that their emotional volatility is part of their female nature. And don’t forget that being calm in difficult situations, when you are tempted to lose it, get angry, scream, curse and possibly say things you don’t mean is yet another opportunity for you to show the very attractive quality of confidence, which is much more impressive during difficult times than when everything is great.
I like men who are assertive yet knows to listen and when to speak up in an argument. It speaks a lot about a person’s personality.
Sometimes, a guy has to hold his ground and stand up for himself…consequences be damned!!!
If a guy doesn't respond, he's a wuss, but if he does stand up and respond, he's also wrong. No matter what he does, he's f**ked!!!
It can't be both ways.
That’s why a response should depend on each situation. There is no universal rule that would apply to every argument or fight.
Fair point.