On Dating Single Mothers

(Last Updated On: 09/08/2014)

dating-single-mothersThere are lots of negative stereotypes out there among men about dating single mothers, many of which only apply to some mothers, or are completely not true.

Many Single Mothers Are Not Looking for New Father for Their Child

One such common stereotype that men have is that all that single mothers look for in dating a guy is finding a replacement for her children’s father. While sometimes it’s true (one can hardly blame a woman for wanting to have a man in her life, who will also be a father figure to her children), often this is not the case. Some women don’t care about that at all, and all the way is to meet a guy they like, are attracted to, and who they can have a good time with. Other single mothers make sure that the actual father of their children stays in their life and they maintain a relationship on that level, even if they are not together as a couple.

Single Mothers Might Be More Available to Date Than You Think

The other stereotype against dating single mothers is that these women are not available to go out and spend time with a guy because of their parental obligations. While this is likely to be true for those women who have one or more toddlers at home and no help or ability to hire a baby-sitter, whether other women with children are available to go out and date depends on their time management skills – just like it is the case with any other woman.  Paradoxically, a woman’s availability to talk on the phone and in person seems to be inversely proportional to her professional status. How many times have you met a woman who held an executive business position and who returned her phone calls and e-mails much quicker than others? How many times have you met a professionally accomplished woman who would be more available to go out, while other women who are not “ranked” nearly as high in the business world took forever to get back to you and seem to be too busy to fit you in their lives?

Despite the above and some other stereotypes out there about dating single mothers, there are several significant advantages that dating a single mother might have over going out with other women, who are younger or who don’t have children or both.

Dating Single Mothers Can Be More Fun Because They Are Not as Eager to Settle Down

First, single mothers are not as eager to settle down. Their “biological clock” is not really ticking. They already have a child, so while they might want to have more children in the future, the fear of ending up with not experiencing having a child is gone. These women are less likely to apply pressure on the guy they are going out with to get into a serious relationship and marry. In fact, this is the last thing that some single mothers want, as many of them wish to take it easy and to actually take a break from relationships after living through a break-up or some other unpleasant experience with the father of their children. This might be particularly important for those guys who are not sure whether they want to be in a relationship, who just want to date around and have a good time, and who don’t enjoy and want to avoid the pressure from a woman to be in a relationship when they just start dating someone.

Dating Single Mothers Might Be More Fun Because They Are Likely to Have Better Personality

A single mother is likely to be more easy going that other women, who are younger or who haven’t yet had to deal with the challenging of raising children. The experience of having and raising children bring many unexpected challenges into a woman’s life dealing with which shapes her personality and makes her more interesting but at the same time. This experience is also a reminder to hear that life in general and her life specifically is far from perfect and predictable. Her child’s tooth ache can derail her plans for the rest of the day. Here baby’s crying at night can change how she feels the entire next day. As such, that woman does not expect to have a perfect life or a perfect relationship with a guy. She doesn’t expect you to be perfect either. She knows from her own experience that life and relationship take unexpected and unpredictable terms, and no matter how much you might plan ahead, things have their own way of working out one way or the other. Thus, she is likely to enjoy the time she spends with you day by day and not be so attached to what you are working towards and whether you are “serious.” This kind of woman is less likely to be obsessing over you, as naturally you are not going to be the only thing she cares about in her life. Her child or children will most certainly be her first priority.

I would also like to believe that a woman who has experienced the pleasure of bringing life to this world, and who also has and continues to deal with the challenges associated with raising a child without a father, would be a stronger and a more interesting individual as a result.

Dating a Single Mother Doesn’t Mean That You Will Always Be Number 2 In Her Life

It’s easy to feel marginalized as a guy in a relationship with a single mother and feel like you are always #2 in her life. However, it is the responsibility of both partners to not allow this affect their interaction. A man should exercise understanding and empathy for the fact that a woman’s child is naturally and biologically a very important person in her life. It would not be any different if the guy she was with was her husband, who she has been with for many years. This doesn’t mean that you are are not important to her. You just occupy a different emotional place in her life, as you should.

Dating single mothers can be as wonderful as dating any kind of women. Being aware of the natural challenges that single mother fact that affect their ability to date should help you handle dating single mothers better, and be ready for the typical obstacles rather than being surprised by them.

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