How Entitlement Mentality Hurts Your Dating Life

(Last Updated On: 01/03/2015)

entitlement mentality Entitlement mentality aka sense of entitlement is one of my personal pet peeves in people.  I can imagine that anyone, who has been in love before and who dated at least one or two people who they still consider to be exceptional, will not settle today for anyone who shows signs of entitlement, arrogance and condescension.

Do you look at a person sometimes wondering why they act as if they are “all that”? What makes you think that about them? Is it the way they stand, walk and otherwise carry themselves? Does their body language suggest that they are high maintenance, stuck up and act like nothing and no one is good enough for them? Do they behave and talk like the world revolves around them? Do they only mention in their conversations the most expensive restaurants, stores, cars, vacation destinations and alike, as if those other “ordinary” things are really not part of their world. Does it look like they try to avoid anything average and “middle class”? Do they act like spoiled babies way too often?

People with entitlement issues are known for treating waiters and other service industry employees not as human beings but rather as their servants. They don’t ask for things but they expect things. When they buy something at a store, they consciously or subconsciously act like they are doing that store a favor. When they receive a gift or someone extends a kind gesture to them, it doesn’t surprise them, but they act as if that was totally expected. The people who have inflated sense of entitlement are also known to treat waiters poorly or talk down to them as if they were their privat servers. You will find this kind of attitude to be either intimidating, or off-putting or annoying, or… all of the above. Surely it will not be romantically attractive.

Although there is a racial stereotype, at least in the United States, attributing entitlement mentality issues to white people, people of all races can have that sense of entitlement. For some of them, acting like royalty is just another attempt to be come across as well off and try to fit in the local American or Anglo Saxon culture.

Entitlement mentality is major turn off in a potential partner to the truly sophisticated. Perceptive, observant men and women who are interested in finding a quality dating / relationship partner will smell entitlement on a person quickly and will want to run in the opposite direction. Beyond all other unattractive things, sense of entitlement shows insecurity to those who knows where it’s usually come from. It screams “I act like I am worth a lot and I deserve all the attention, because I have nothing besides my attitude to show for myself. I don’t have any real skills or accomplishments, so I have to act like I have status.”

Some people confuse sense of entitlement with confidence. In reality, however, the two are actually mutual exclusive. Real confidence is humble. It doesn’t  need to put others down and it does not seeks attention; it doesn’t ask for approval or recognition from people around. A truly accomplished person, whatever that might mean, will feel no need to act like he is better than others. He doesn’t need to. He made his statement about who he is and what he is capable of in far more meaningful and noble ways. He has no need to act snobbish. It’s hard to imagine a situation where someone like Bill Gates or Roger Federer or Warren Buffet would have to run around and announce how successful they are.

Others confuse acting entitled with showing class. Again, the two are definitely not the same. An overpriced dress or suit, jewelry and cuff links, refusing to dine at any non-rated restaurant, and looking at the homeless people on the street as if they were some kind of disease, is anything but classy behavior. It’s more provincial and lame than anything else.

Acting like you are entitled is as unattractive on a first date as it is later in a relationship, unless whoever you are going out with feels equally entitled and/or materialistic and they actually appreciate it in others. To the rest, acting with more humility can make you come across a far more attractive person, especially to those perceptive people around, for whom entitlement in others is a huge red flag. Don’t talk about how great you are; instead – show it through your actions. It will be much more meaningful and impressive.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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