You met an attractive woman. Perhaps she is physically more attractive and more desirable to you than any other woman you have ever met in the recent past, or ever. Getting closer to her, developing a romantic connection, and having sex with her might look as literally a dream come true – a dream that might be too good to be true. You go out with her on a date, which you are very excited about and more nervous than usual. You feel that since she is so “hot” you must be on your best “game” in order not to blow it. While you are out, you find out quickly that she is very sensitive or even uptight. She doesn’t like to talk about or hear anything controversial, can’t handle a dirty joke, and takes everything personally. She seems to be more guarded than the average. Not only she is hot but she also acts like she like a “princess” – like someone who knows that she is hot and believes that it gives her a lot of power.
You are still very interested in her, at least sexually, and you are trying to adjust your behavior and your interaction with her to her liking. You stop being your usual self. You stop joking or saying anything that she might disagree with or not like. You are playing it very safe, complimenting her excessively, and agreeing with everything she says. Nevertheless, there seems to be no chemistry and by the end of the date you realize that it’s not going to go anywhere. You might have a similar experience again right after, meeting yet another very attractive woman, who seems to be uptight. You walk on eggshells while out with her, but things don’t work out again. Now you start assuming that all attractive women or a vast majority of them are that way – they are very sensitive, easily turned off or offended, and can’t handle a dirty joke or sarcastic conversation.
Now you meet a different kind of woman – this one might be or might not be as physically attractive, but she is smart, funny, stimulating, open minded and easy going. Not only she can take a joke, but she can dish one of her own. It would take a lot to offend her, yet you still decide to play it safe and act the same way as you would with the other, uptight kind. You have a plain conversation that hardly goes beyond small talk about the weather and about what school you went to. You avoid saying anything sarcastic and you express no strong opinions. This time, however, the woman you are out with concludes that you have no personality and that you are a boring guy who she has no interest in seeing again, because she is looking for someone who she “clicks” with. This woman is tried of guys who she calls “vanilla” – those men who have nothing interesting to say.
It’s a shame if you miss out on the more interesting and more fun women because of your experience of meeting and dating uptight women. Those uptight women might have made you believe that all women are like that, but they are not. Some are, and they are the ones who you probably wouldn’t be happy with. There is only so long you could walk on eggshells anyway, if you are not that way naturally. There are plenty of women of a different kind – the open minded, easy going, and real, so to speak. It is important that you don’t let yourself come across as boring just because being boring seems to be the right way to be with the high maintenance women who think they are god’s gift.
My observation also suggests that it’s the insecure women – women who feel that they aren’t everything they could have been and wanted to be that act like they are all that. The more accomplished and the more educated women, who have nothing to prove to anyone, are usually far less uptight and are much more fun to be around. They also don’t act like the world revolves around them.
I suppose the same applies to men – it’s the insecure guys and the underachievers who walk around with their chin up like the own the world. The ones who have a lot going for them don’t have time to be posers. They are consumed with their work and other interesting things they do that make their life and the lives of those who they care about better.