How to Handle Awkward Silence on a Date

awkward silence on a dateOne of the things that guys are concerned about the most when planning to go out on a date with the girl, who they don’t know very well or don’t know at all, is being at a loss of words and facing that dreaded, awkward silence on a date. Here are a few simple tips to help you deal with both – your fear of silence on a date and the silence itself, if you happened to find yourself in that situation on a date:

The Most Awkward Silence on a Date Hasn’t Killed Anyone Yet

I think we can all agree that no guy in the history of humanity has died or has been injured by a date that has gone way too quiet. So, don’t worry about it. If you run out of things to say, enjoy the challenge of living trough the awkward moment and learn how to deal with it or how to break the silence.

Silence on a Date Is Not Necessarily Your Fault, But It Can Also Be a Blessing

They say it takes two to tango. This certainly applies to a conversation. Even the most talkative guy is going to have a hard time talking to a girl who doesn’t actively participate in a conversation and who sits quietly without saying much, whether because she is too shy, too boring, or not interested in her date.  However, if the reason that you can’t develop an interesting conversation is that either or both of you have realized that you are not attracted to each other, it’s great to find that out early, so that you can move on without spending too much time pretending like there is something there. So, if not having much to say to each other on a date is an early sign that you are not a good match, consider it a huge time saver.

If There Is a Potential for Mutual Interest, Don’t Act Like There Is Anything Wrong Just Because You Are Not Talking The Whole Time

If things have been going well on your date otherwise, but at some point you ran out of things to say, don’t act like there is anything wrong. It’s normal to take a break from talking when you are out with someone. Learn how to be comfortable and act like you are comfortable with a few moments of silence. This is your opportunity to demonstrate presence and confidence. Few people can handle the seemingly awkward silence in a calm manner, without looking nervous or uncomfortable, but if you can learn how to do it, it will be very impressive. Also, don’t forget that not talking enough on a date is probably much better than talking too much.

Two Easy Ways to Break an Awkward Silence on a Date

My two favorite ways to break silence on a date are: (a) bring up a movie you recently watched, ask her whether she watched it and liked it, and ask her what she thinks about a certain part in that movie which you liked or disliked or otherwise have a strong opinion on; or … (b) if you feel like it might worth breaking a wall between the two of you, address the issue of silence head on – ask her playfully whether she is good at handling  silences.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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4 Comments

  1. Well said. I would also venture to guess that a woman with minimum intuition and perception will recognize it when the guy’s question on a date don’t sound genuine and don’t come from his true desire to get to know her, but a canned attempt to do something that he was told he is supposed to on a date.

  2. I agree with StarsCollide, I think its ok to have silence at times rather then just saying anything and everything that comes into your head, Ive been on dates where its felt like an interview because the man has asked so many questions Lol (I do appreciate its hard to get a balance though!)
    Its better if you feel comfortable with each other and know that you are on the same level, then silence isn’t a bad thing; but if you don’t get on and know its going no-where then it can feel awkward! Most people know the difference and if its not going well then just have the one drink and leave saying Thank you for meeting; I will text you later. (its easier to say what you really want in a text) And lets be honest you don’t really owe someone more than that after just one date. People break up after months of being close via text these days! Not that I condone that!

    Enjoy the silence is what I say! You shouldn’t have to fill every moment with chatter!

  3. Yes, one common problem is that when the other person is silent we assume that they are bored or not really interested, which sometimes is true and sometimes not true at all. Silence alone doesn’t really say everything about a person’s level of interest one way or the other.

  4. Some people are not comfortable with silence. They think they had to say something so the conversation doesn’t end. Silence is also part of a conversation; it speaks a lot more than what it has been said. Silence lets people feel rather than talk too much trying to fill the gap like there’s no tomorrow! If you can understand each other with silence, I think you’ll get to understand more who the person is you’re talking to from the way she gazes, eat, touch, feel, etc.

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