I am sitting at a small Starbucks store on a rainy Saturday afternoon. It’s quiet inside. Everyone seems to be reading or working on their computer. An attractive, feminine looking, stylish Asian woman in her early to mid thirties walks in and sits down. Based on her appearance I can’t help but conclude that she is probably sweet and soft-spoken. A few minutes later two of her friends come in, and as soon as she greets them and starts talking, I cringe. I look around, and everyone else stopped doing what they were doing and looked up at her. Her voice is way too loud considering the environment. It’s way too business-like and way too forceful. She sounded like she wanted everyone to hear her business. Although others tried to hide their annoyance with her behavior, you could tell that pretty much everyone was subtly rolling their eyes at her.
Being loud and being louder than everyone else in the room is not flattering to you. It might draw an attention to you, but it’s not the kind of attention you want. Any “experienced” guy will perceive you being unusually loud as a sign of attention whoring and desperation, and will either be completely turned off by it or will assume that you are an easy pick-up/sex target. In both cases, you lose.
Many business books out there suggest that being soft spoken is a sign of weakness, while being loud and outspoken is a sign of confidence, ambition and independence. It might be true when it comes to certain business situations, but when it comes to how you appear to men, a softer voice is one of the most powerful ways you have to come across a more feminine and more attractive woman. Men are turned on by softer and more sensual voices and not only in bed but way before, and as early as they talk to you for the very first time. They say first impression are everything. A softer voice is certainly one way to make the right first impression on the guy you are trying to flirt with and get him to ask you out.