One of the biggest obstacles that so many women have toward meeting quality single men and eventually meeting Mr. Right or at least finding that great, fulfilling, long-term relationship is painfully simple. That reason is that they severely restrict the times and the places where they are willing and ready to meet single guys. This leaves the majority of quality single men out of those women’s reach.
I can’t help but wonder about my single female friends who say that they do not want to look at guys when we are out, because they are not out to meet guys, but just to have fun. This sounds … silly at best, but it’s such a common excuse that women use. For some reason, they believe that they should only meet a guy when they are out for the sole purpose of meeting one. Indeed, a typical woman is only ready to meet a guy and flirt during those few evening hours on weekends when she is dressed up, feeling attractive, and ready to be approached by and talk with a guy. The rest of the time that same woman will make herself intentionally or unconsciously unavailable, which includes avoiding any eye contact with the men around her and otherwise carrying herself in such a manner that would not invite male attention throughout the day. Surely she is in her own world and preoccupied with all the challenging and and stressful things that she needs to do during the day. But time after time, these weekend outings end up in gross disappointments from the atmosphere and the kind of guys that these women are seeing, including hearing cheesy pick up lines from intoxicated guys that don’t go anywhere.
As I point out in “What You Wish You Knew about Men” dating guide for women, life doesn’t work like that and meeting quality men doesn’t happen on demand and on your terms. Meeting quality single men requires that you are available to be approached and talk to guys more often, and that you know how to beat that initial awkwardness of two strangers starting a conversation with each other. A great single guy is not going to come to you when you are ready to meet him and when you feel like talking to and meeting men. That great guy is going to be around you at the most unexpected time and place – probably during the daytime, at a grocery store, gas station, bus stop or anywhere else where you find yourself in your day-to-day activities but where you don’t expect to meet men. Although a bit trite, it is an undeniable fact that the guy you are looking to meet can be anywhere at this very moment. I can imagine that you might be grossed out by the idea of being picked up at a gas station. However, I suggest that you do not generalize and don’t think that every guy at a gas station is gross and someone you could never be attracted to. All drivers fill up their gas tanks. Some of them are great, successful and attractive men. The same applies to gyms and other places where women traditionally don’t feel comfortable to guys.
Surely I wouldn’t suggest that you should go out searching for and meeting quality single men with a flashlight on, but you can certainly make one adjustment to your behavior that is likely to dramatically increase your chances of meeting a great guy: make yourself friendly, available and open to meeting guys more often! This means making friendly eye contact with the men around you regardless of where you are, and being open to having small talk in all casual situations where you interact with men. In other words, take advantage of the opportunities to interact with men that your life is already creating for you and don’t wait to go out to some cheesy bar or a club where you are likely going to judge guys for their drinking habits and vanity anyway. After all, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from talking to men in natural, daily social situations, when both you and them are sober. If nothing else, a conversation with a guy will be a great exercise of your social skills and will be an interesting experience, and you never know – you might just make a friend who will introduce you to another guy for whom you will fall head over heels.
Meeting quality single men is in large part in your hands. There are more single men out there than you think, but most of them need some kind of subtle invitation from you in order to come up and meet you. If you start giving those men a subtle but clear signal of your friendly energy and your openness to meeting them, the quality and the quantity of men you are meeting will dramatically increase. Try it and you will see for yourself!