There is one specific thing that you should be looking for at all stages of dating and especially at the earliest stages of getting to know each other, if you are interested in finding a connection and a potential long-term partner, while filtering out all those who are not serious about you or dating in general –
Effort is a critical factor at all stages of dating and from the earliest stages of any interaction, and understanding its importance, especially in the era or low, and at times – no effort dating is more important than ever.
Online and Before Your First Date
How much effort is he putting into his pictures and into writing a compelling, thought provoking profile that would make you think “wow, he is different and I am intrigued” and want to write to him or respond to him? If his profile is devoid of anything of substance, he is probably not serious about the whole process, especially if he has an advanced degree and is professional accomplished, as he should definitely know better.
How much effort is she putting into writing her responses to your messages and also asking you questions, because she wants to know more about you? If her messages are written in incomplete, lazy half sentences and don’t encourage further dialogue, it’s safe to say that she is online just because she is bored for some cheap attention or both, and it’s time for you to move on. That why I encourage both men and women to put more effort into their interactions on dating apps if they want to have any chance of something good coming out of the whole process.
What about texting and calling each other? Is the person you are talking to trying to be prompt and thoughtful in their communication with you or does it take them a day or two to get back to you. If the latter is the case, then you have to recognized that you are not a priority to them.
On A Date
Is the person you met putting an effort into meeting you on time on your first date and having the appearance of someone who cares about making the right impression on you? If he is late or has to cancel or looks like they just woke up when they show up – how much effort does he put into making sure that you know that he didn’t just flake on you, but he truly had a good reason to change plans?
Is your date putting an effort into actively listening to you on a date, understanding what you are saying, and responding in a thoughtful manner that would suggest that they care about what you have to say, and not just nod and agree with everything you say like a robot, while looking distracted and thinking of something else? It goes without saying that frequently glancing on the smartphone, however casually and discretely it might be done is clear sign of lack of attention and substandard effort on a date.
In A Relationship
How do you solve problems and differences between the two of you in a relationship? How do you make up after fighting?
Do you both put an effort into looking deeper into the issues that causes frictions between the two of you, or do you leave problems unsolved, swipe bitterness under the rug, or think of leaving the relationship every single time there is a difference between the two of you -big or small?
Keeping this simple concept of effort in mind when evaluating your interaction with any potential or existing partner should help you understand the qualify of that interaction and decide where directly you should try to take it in.