One of the very attractive ways in which a man can show his confidence and strong sense of self in a relationship is to remain calm and not allow himself to be emotionally destabilized easily when arguing or fighting with a girlfriend. Some guys make the mistake of trying to match their female partners’ emotion. If she gets angry, he gets just as angry. If she starts screaming during an argument, he starts yelling back at her just as loudly. If she starts cussing and resorting to the “below the belt” comments, he feels the need to retaliate and do the same to her. As we all know, all this does is escalates the conflict and makes things worse. What many guys don’t realize that this kind of behavior also makes them come across as less “masculine, less stable and weaker. In a sense, this kind of behavior is inherently more feminine, and women know that. As such, they expect from guys to be less emotional and less dramatic during the arguments. They expect men to calm things down rather than escalate the argument or the fight even further.
As a man, you need to remember about how important it is to be the “bigger man” in such situations and not allow yourself to act like a girl would, when fighting with a girlfriend. Your job as a male is to bring stability or at least reduce instability from the situation and try to calm things down, encouraging your partner to rationally discuss whatever the subject of fighting is, thereby elevating your communication, rather than allowing it to decline to the verbal gutter.
This does not mean that you should be fake or suppress your emotions, or withdraw and ignore your partner, or cover your anger with a smile. You should definitely let your partner know how you feel, but do it in a way that will not be insulting to her, even if she has insulted you. You might just be surprised as to how much bigger it will make you look in her eyes later.
I am well aware of the fact that this is easier said than done, and sometimes no matter how well we understand what we need to do, we are lead by our emotions and we can’t help but get angry back at our partner. Sometimes, it’s ok to do that. Sometimes, it is even healthy to speak out your mind freely, instead of keeping that stuff inside and allowing resentment to build up needlessly. But, reserve that kind of reaction for “special” occasions, and put conscious effort into acting like a “man” during the trivial arguments with your dating partner, your girlfriend or your wife. It is not going to be easy at all. If you have snapped before, you will snap in the future, and that’s quite normal, but trying to not react impulsively in the above situations can be an interesting and a very worthwhile challenge, that will take you a long way toward being and appearing as a stronger and a more confident guy.