On Splitting The Bill On A (First) Date

splitting the bill on a first dateA male reader asks about whether splitting the bill on a first date is a bad idea. I have a simple answer – yes, it’s really bad idea if you are actually intersted in the girl. To many you will appear cheap and the whole gesture will feel petty and unromantic. While it might not be a deal breaker on a date, there is absolutely not upside to it.

Moreover, as you continue dating the same person, you should never be splitting the bill when you got out, because it will feel so…lame. Instead, simply treat one another. We all like to treat and be treated, so you both should be enjoying  doing things for each other, if you like each other.

You may be concerned about the potential financially unfairness between the wto of you, but it’s easy to avoid. If you make as much as the woman you are dating, but you still want to feel like a man in a relationship, you may consider treating woman 75% of the time. This can be easily accomplished by buying lunch or dinner and having the girl treat you for desert or paying for the more expensive dates, while having her pay for the cheper dates. For instance, you can buy conerts tickets for the two of you, and on the next date, she could buy movie tickets for both of you.

Even if the woman you started dating makes more or way more than you, you should probably still consider paying for 2/3 of your dates, becuase as a man you are still expected to do so, and it’s not a bad thing. And, as a woman, chances are that she still wants to feel like a woman in a relationship.

It’s important that as a guy, you never go out of your financial comfort zone when you pay on dates, regardless of who you date, because it will inevitably build resentment in you against ger, even though your deciding to spend too much on those dates would not be her fault in any way. You should only be going on dates that you can comfortably afford, even if you think that the woman you are dating is used to more expensive dinners and more expensive events.  You are not going out with her to match her habits and her lifestyle, but to find out if you develop connection and feelings for each other, for however long dating her is going to last.

Should a woman still offer to pay on a first date? Absolutely. It’s the classy and proper thing to do before the guy gently pushes your hand with a card away and takes care of the bill.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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