As we all know, there are no sure-fire formulas when it comes to finding the partner of your dreams. As the saying goes, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. Like many people, I felt like I had been unlucky in love and working long hours meant that I found it difficult to even meet new people, let alone develop serious meaningful relationships. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. While I didn’t feel like I was going crazy (at least not yet anyway), the quote did seem to resonate with me. It was true that my life had fallen into a pattern which revolved around work and then coming home to watch television, and yet I hoped for something new and exciting as far as my love life was going, without putting any effort into making it more likely to happen.
As I started to realize this, I came to asking myself an inevitable question – how can we expect our love lives to change if we aren’t proactive and don’t try new things, but instead are just waiting around? Many people seem to assume that the man/woman of their dreams will simply stroll into their life. Of course, some things are meant to be, but sitting around and waiting for love to happen just isn’t realistic, and it only seems to happen in movies and romantic novels, or at best to few of our very lucky friends. Perhaps a new approach is necessary. By getting out there and trying new things to expand the way you think about yourself and your love life, you are opening yourself up to the potential of finding love.
1. Open Up Your Spiritual Side to Find That Special Guy
You may never have considered enlisting the help of a psychic or clairvoyant in your search for love, and to be honest I was a little skeptical. But, when a friend suggested I have a psychic reading at TheCircle I decided to give it a go. The reading helped me open up about what I was looking for in a relationship and made me think about things which might have gone wrong in the past. Of course, there are no definite answers and the reader didn’t tell me I was going to meet someone tall, dark and handsome, but she did seem to give me guidance as to some of the choices I was facing in my life at that point. The whole experience seemed to give me a renewed sense of positivity in my search for a soul mate. Don’t laugh. I am just as skeptical about about psychic readings, and I can’t blame you, as I myself am not a big fan of paying fortune tellers, and I don’t really believe that anyone knows what future holds of us. However, this was not about telling me what my future held for me. This was about looking deeper into my present to find out what I could do to make my future love life better. The psychic impressed me by her ability to find out so much about me by simply asking me questions about myself that I don’t remember anyone else ever asking me.
2. Stop Looking for a Perfect Guy
This is something which pretty much all of us are guilty of at some point or another. You might think that looking for Mr Right involves compiling a big list of all the qualities you want in a partner. Certainly it’s good to know what you want but being too rigid in your search for love means you may overlook potential suitors. And unlike so many people believe, you don’t have to have everything in common in order to be a good match.
I saw this in two of my friends recently. The guy was very sporty, adventurous and loved traveling whereas the girl was very rooted to her hometown, loved her simple comforts, ran her own business, and had no problem spending her free time on a couch with a book and a cup of coffee. It has been two years since their first date. They have been traveling the world together for a while now, and now live in Australia, where she has been able to continue running her business. He showed her the excitement of traveling while she showed him the pleasure of having their own place to call home.
They say that opposites attract, and there’s no reason why you can’t be compatible with someone who different interests. In fact, being able to learn new things from your partner, and being able to teach him someone new as well can be one of the most rewarding aspects of getting to know each other and becoming closer.
3. Be Assertive
There are different elements to assertiveness when it comes to looking for that special guy. If, for instance, you have just come out of a long relationship and are unsure of whether you want to begin looking for a serious relationship again, then chances are you can’t be quite as assertive and you need more time to “reset” your emotions before you are ready and emotionally available to date again. After all, being assertive means taking confident steps to be more outgoing with the men who you come in contact with in your daily life.
Remember – nothing will change unless you open yourself up to love and actually do something to increase the chances of finding it. Blaming the men, your busy lifestyle and your surrounding for your not-so-great dating life might make you feel better, but it’s pointless because complaining won’t change anything for you. On the other hand, doing something about it – making yourself more attractive, losing weight if necessary, making sure that you don’t make the mistakes you made with men in the past, becoming more involved socially, and making sure that you appear friendlier to the world around you will go a long way toward helping you find the love you are looking for.
By Gemma Collier. – Gemma is a freelance writer who has had her own ups and downs when it comes to relationships. She has now been happily married for just over three years and loves to write to support those who are still searching for their soul mate.
I think guys often make the same mistake of expecting perfection.
For some it takes a divorce or two to realize that perfection doesn’t exist and ask themselves the correction question: what really matters to me in the other person and what thing I can leave without in my partner.
Looking for perfection and looking for Mr. Perfect instead of Mr. Right is one mistake that I and may friends have been doing for a while. There is no such thing as Mr. Perfect. If you look at any of the older people that you know, who have been together for 30, 40 or more years, they are not perfect and their relationship isn’t. What they all seem to have in common is their desire and ability to work out their problems and look at the bigger picture, and that’s what keeps them together decade after decade. I believe they call it “commitment.”