There is Nothing Wrong with Coffee Dates

coffee datesSome single women, who actively date, say that they are tired of going on coffee dates.  This is because they have been on so many of them, that now meeting a guy for coffee feels extreme cliche and boring. The last place they would want to go on a date is Starbucks or a another generic coffee place where they have been a hundred times before, and which would remind them of the many dates they have had before. They understandable wish to switch the scene.

I am not a huge fan of Starbucks coffee or meeting anyone at Starbucks myself unless it’s strictly business. I would not even suggest to a friend to meet at Starbucks, unless that was the only option in the area. At the same time, I believe that there is nothing wrong with a coffee dates per se. It might sound painfully unoriginal to meet guy for coffee, especially if you have been meeting a lot of guys from Tinder, OkCupid, Match, etc… However, it’s important to realize and remember that where you meet isn’t what really makes a difference and will determine whether you like each other. I suggest that you focus on the other parts of your date and your interaction with the person you meet, which are far more important than the “where”.  Ask yourself whether the guy you are out with is otherwise special and unique. Don’t focus so much on how unique the place where you are meeting is. After all, if you hit it off and like each other, it won’t matter. And if you end up not having any chemistry, then again – it won’t matter where you went on your date.

Some women don’t like coffee dates because they think that  a “real man” invites the lady to a dinner rather than coffee on a first date. That’s an unfair and largely incorrect assumption. A “real man” doesn’t feel the need to buy a woman’s time and attention with dinner, and he isn’t that eager to dine with someone who he barely knows. Having dinner with the guy you don’t know might be just as awkward for you. Ironically, many women subconsciously tend to lose some respect for and an interest in a guy who takes them out to dinner on a first date, as buying a full meal for someone you just met suggests a degree of desperation for female attention.  This makes him look like he needs to pay to spend time with you, and that hardly makes him appear as confident or attractive. This is not about being cheap or generous. This is about the message that the guy sends. Also, dinner dates are not less cliche than coffee dates, so it’s not like asking a woman out for dinner would even be more original than meeting for coffee.

A coffee date might not be the most original first date destination, but there is also nothing inherently wrong with it. And if you feel like you are tired for going out for coffee, because you have been on too many coffee dates, perhaps you are tired for going out on dates in general, and not coffee dates specifically, and it might be a good idea to take a short break from dating.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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