Smart, professional, classy, interesting single men are a small minority among all the other men, even in the most progressive communities, where you would expect to have a high concentration of educated, accomplished men. These men are very picky about who they spend their time with and what women they would want to date and have a relationship with. They also know that there is a small percentage of women out there who are special – who are not only physically attractive but who also stand out from the rest with their personality, wit, sense of humor and overall character.
A quality guy knows that a run-of-the-mill woman who follows the “herd” isn’t going to cut it for him. Thus, if he decides to search for love online, he is going to look for those profiles that stand out from the rest, and don’t say the same thing as every other profile says. Chances are you already have a dating profile, but it hasn’t been working well for you, attracting no attention, or mostly bringing generic sexual or lame “how are you?”, “hey” and “how is your weekend?” messages, which is as good as nothing or worse. However, there are three simple things you can do to revise your profile and make it stand out as more interesting, compelling and intriguing to an astute reader:
1. Make Sure Your Profile Doesn’t Sound Like An Autobiography
A chronology of where you worked or lived, that so many people start their profiles with, is boring. So, if your profile starts with “I am originally from, then I moved to..” or “I went to school in, before moving to..” or “I am new to the area, and just relocated from…”, delete that whole part. That kind of information doesn’t grab anyone’s attention and it can be removed. And sharing the history of where you lived so far through a chart with arrows – HK > BC > NYC > DC – is so cliche and overused, that you should just forget it once and for all. Surprise a worthy date with where you lived and where you traveled later – when you meet and when you feel like that person really needs to know these days but not beforehand.
2. Eliminate Any Kind Bragging And Self-Promotion
Look over your profile and check if it contains any self-serving adjectives such as “successful”, “accomplished”, “beautiful” , “sexy”, “independent”, “strong”, “professional”, “adventurous” etc. Then delete all of these words. The type of a special guy you are looking to meet is as skeptical and as turned-off by women who brag about how wonderful and accomplished they are, as you are turned off by the men who are full of themselves. An experienced, perceptive guy knows what bragging means – either she is a pain in the ass to be around due to being full of herself or she is insecure about her place, or both, and she is the one to stay away from. You are much better off mentioning the random things around that make you happy and a few things that you find annoying. Also, you should write that you are beautiful or sexy. If you are, the guy will see it in your photos in about .7 seconds. And if you aren’t, then saying this will make you look silly and out of touch with reality.
3. Don’t Sound Unrealistically Happy and Over-the-Top Positive
Women have been told for at least a decade now about the importance of being positive and acting super happy when meeting and going out with men. Being positive is certainly a good idea, but you don’t need to be thrilled with everything and everyone all the times. If your profile is focused around how much you love food, your job, your city and how wonderful everything is in your life and around you, you are going to sound like 90% of other girls online – generic, and not real. I realize that this is somewhat of a controversial advice, but remember – you are trying to attract a guy who is unlike others. Chances are he is not interested in reading fluff and he wants to knows what worries you or annoys you just as much or more than what makes you happy. Therefore, it’s ok to say in your profile “I have a weakness for men who have more than beer and Baseball on their mind” or make a reference to the type of women that you know great, masculine men want to stay away from “Don’t worry, I am not a pain in the ass – I can get ready in less than 20 minutes, use minimum make up, and I rarely return food at a restaurant. I am high maintenance for attention and affection, not for overpriced clothes or dinners”
Here is an example of a very short but obviously striking OkCupid Self Summary from one woman’s dating profile which isn’t only free of the above issues, but it is also rich in metaphors that make it stand out conspicuously from the rest.
“Cross Parker Posey in Party Girl with Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s add futuristic kisses, radical rationalism, x-ray vision and strong verbs… then shake, don’t stir.”
Using metaphors is a talent that not everyone has, but if you invest a bit of time and brainstorm on how you could describe yourself creatively, you surely too could come up with a one or a few metaphors to describe yourself, your lifestyle, or your likes/dislikes.
Making your profile more interesting does not, of course, guarantee that the men you meet are more serious about meeting the right woman and having a long term relationship with her, or that they are more faithful, but it will surely go along way to bringing guys who have more to offer as far as their personality goes, whether you go on one date with them or whether you end up falling for each other.