Why Doesn’t She Ever Call or Text First?

girl textingRecently, I got an e-mail from one of the readers, telling me that he recently met a girl, they went out on a date a couple of times, and they seemed to have a great time together. She seems to be really interested in him. A few dates later, however, he noticed that she never calls or text him first unless he calls or text her. Naturally, he started wondering if she is interested in seeing him at all and … why isn’t she calling him first? I advised him that it is unlikely that she is not interested in seeing him, because if that was the case, she wouldn’t have been going out with him after their first date, or she wouldn’t even have been returning his phone calls at all (as most other girls who are not interested in someone do).

In fact, I believe that the fact that the girl isn’t calling or texting you first at the very early stages of dating might just be a good sign and it actually says good things about her personality. It is likely that the fact that she doesn’t call first is because she is very feminine and traditional, and she really, really enjoys seeing a guy as being a confident leader, who takes charge, who goes after what he wants and who arranges all the “what and how” of dating, because that’s what she considers courtship to be and that’s what attracts her in a man, and makes her feel wanted. Remember, the reason that women go out of their way to look sexy – from boots to jewelry and make-up is not necessarily because they want to meet every guy who walks by them, but because they want to be wanted. But it’s much more fun for a woman to know that she is wanted by a guy who she likes.

Of course, as they continue dating, and when it becomes clear to her that the guy is interested in her, she should be calling him and texting him first as well, and if she doesn’t, the guy should say playfully something like “Hey, you know I won’t bite you if you call or text me once in a while as well.”

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Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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Jason Smith
Jason Smith
06/07/2012 12:02 pm

No do not call her so much. you will jsut make her feel you are clingy. just play it normal

11/14/2010 12:32 pm

I have this feeling that I want to say it’s my girlfriend. A girl. A girl I haven’t met yet, but I still call in the morning in the weekends. I met her on-line on Skype and we talked. I’ve never had any relationship with a girl in my life, and I fucked it up in the start by bragging about what I do in my spare-time and what I like to do. Me and her have a lot in common, but I should not start forcing her to start a date. She’s 15 years old and she had a horrible break-up with her ex-boyfriend. I’m 16 nothing is easy when I’ve changed myself cause I like her, she’s pretty, and she says that she is not pretty… I’ll see how she react. But, she seems to be a bit down when I don’t call her or send messages cause I said I was going out for a walk. She didn’t send any messages either, then it might be a good sign that she thinks that I’m a confident leader? I dunno what to say every time I go out every time when I’m busy. She wants me to be honest so it’s very hard to me to find an excuse cause that might not be a good plan.
(Q) Every time I wake up in the morning, should I call her or should I send a message, or just turn off the cellphone, and then call her after school?
Please help me, I dunno what to do if she doesn’t want to call me. I’ll stay calm and try to not say anything stupid like** I’ll think about you**.