You went out and had a great time talking to that guy who looked very interesting and … very interested in you. You had a great conversation, you felt at ease and it was almost like you have known each other for years. He looked very enthusiastic about getting to know you and treated you like you were the only person in the room. That was very flattering and indeed made you feel special. At the end of the night he asked you for your number and told you that he will talk to you soon.
Judging by his attention and his interest when he met you, you were sure that he was going to call. A day, two and three went by but you haven’t heard from him. You can’t help but wonder – why would a guy go through all that work of talking to you, would look so interested in you and not even bother to call you. Is he playing games and is just waiting before he calls? A week or so later, however, it becomes obvious that he is not going to call. But why – why do guys do that?
My study has revealed two primary reasons for this:
1. It takes all of us a certain amount of time to truly absorb our impression of a person we met and realize whether or not we want to see him / her again. Think about it – I am sure this happened to you as well. You would meet someone, like him a lot, feeling exciting about seeing him again, but the next day – he didn’t even cross your mind. Some say that it takes us anywhere from 12 to 24 hours to form our true opinion on anything new that we have learned. There must be a lot of truth to that and it certainly applies to guys when they meet a woman for the first time. One man might find you very sexy, attractive and interesting as he is talking to you partially because he had a bit to drink, partially because he is horny, and in part because it’s exciting for a guy to approach a woman at a bar and “test” his “weapons of mass seduction.” The day after he might not even think about the woman he met the night before, or he might be thinking about another woman who he met shortly before or after you and who he liked much more. This is just the nature of things.
2. As bad as it sounds, many “single” guys in bars are not “single.” Many of them are married or have girlfriends. They are looking to hook up but their circumstances don’t always allow them to be able to do that. Many of them live with their partners or are in close proximity to them, so that the most they can do when out is validate their egos by proving to themselves that they still can get a woman interested in them. Those are cruel and selfish acts but they are also the ones in which unavailable men often engage.
So… if he doesn’t call, smile and be happy. It is most likely for your own best because the reason he didn’t call you is either because he is not interested or unavailable. Either way, you come out a winner because of not having your time, energy, and emotions spent on yet another unworthy situation that wasn’t going anywhere in the first place.