Why You Should Not Put Any Woman on a Pedestal (Guest Article)

(Last Updated On: 02/02/2016)

confident man flirtingWhen I look around in our modern society, I see so many¬†people are¬†looking up to others. Celebrities are constantly put on a pedestal, just like needy men put attractive women on a pedestal. I‚Äôm therefore not surprised that¬†many people are so unhappy with where they are in their¬†life, even if they are not doing so badly at all. They don‚Äôt feel valuable and important in life, while grossly over-valuing others. They can’t blame anyone for that except themselves.¬†They have created that situation of lack of self worth, and no one else can be blamed for it. It’s critical that you stop pedestalizing anyone, and women specifically.

Understand What Being The Most Important Person In Your Life Is and What It¬†Isn’t

Your life is your movie and you are¬†the ultimate¬†star in it. No one can experience your life like you can. So why on earth would you choose to live a life not feeling like a man? What the hell happened to you that you put other people around you above yourself, including any girl, however attractive she might be? Don’t take me wrong – I am not asking you to hate women or to think lowly of them or treat them badly. I am asking you not to think less of yourself just because you are near someone very attractive.¬† Think about how much damage you have done to yourself already¬†with such thoughts as “Why would she want to be with me and not with those¬†ten¬†other guys¬†who are starting at her or are flirting with her?”¬†¬†When you truly accept that you are¬† the most important person in your life, this should help you a lot in becoming more confident in general and with women specifically.

This doesn’t mean that other people are not important or that you should not treat them well, but¬†you should not treat them like they are more important than you are, unless you are in some kind of extreme¬†life/death situation and where you are willing some kind of meaningful, personal sacrifice. I realize how selfish this may sound, but this is really not about selfishness, because as long as that belief doesn’t come at the expense of others, you are not doing anything wrong. In other words, if you want to go to one restaurant and the girl you are going out wants to go to some place else, you don’t insist on going to the place you like because you are more “important.” This is really not about competition or insisting¬†to have it your way every time. Being the most important person in your life means, for instance, that when you make a move and try to talk to a girl, you truly believe that it’s a compliment to her, especially today when picking someone up more often means adding them on Facebook than actually trying to come up with the courage to talk to them.

Putting Women on a Pedestal Will Lead to an Inevitable Disappointment

When these people who you idolize so much¬†fall off that pedestal (which usually happens), they disappoint you when they show you that they are not all who you thought they are. However, this is more of your fault than theirs, because you are the one who created those expectation in your mind and for no reason. What did you think¬†was going to happen? She may look like an angel to you when wearing that sexy dress, high heels and having her hair all done up, but I doubt¬†she will ever sound like an angel as soon as you start talking to her.¬†It’s good to assume the best about the people you meet,¬†but you can’t¬†just start thinking that every hot girl is¬†Ms. Perfect. She probably isn’t. She gets¬†frustrated, tired, flaky, emotional, and angry¬†like most other girls. It’s hard for you to come up and talk to her, but it’s also hard for her to know how to deal with¬†your approach, even if she is interested.

Pedestalizing Women Will Make Them Think Less of You  

Women do not want to be placed¬†above you. It’s hard for any girl to respect¬†or to be attracted to the guy who thinks lowly of himself and who puts her on a pedestal.¬†If you think you are not worthy of the girl you met and are interested in, she will necessarily conclude¬†sooner than later that you really are not worth her time, even if she initially was attracted to you. If you do not believe you are wroth it, no one else will. If you believe that this article speaks to you,¬†one of the first steps you can and should take toward abolishing the habit of pedestalizing others in general and women specifically and learning how to appreciate yourself is developing genuine confidence.¬†¬† By James Miller of SublimeSeduction.com. ¬†

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  1. Thank you for pointing out the dead links. They have been removed. I can’t remember what the articles said, but the advice about not putting the opposite sex on a pedestal is pretty similar for both men and women.

  2. Would you believe I read an article a month ago about ‘Why a woman should not put a man on a pedestal’?

    I can’t read the article linked on this post about alpha males. What did it say?

  3. That's true. But I'll bet my last dollar that none of them sell as much as the ones that scream from the rooftops that "men are dogs."

  4. Because it sells. Do you believe every book you've read? There is a market for everything.

  5. There is a book out there on just about every subject, and if you search hard you will find articles and books that even suggests that smoking, drugs, etc… are good for you. There is an opinion out there on just about everything, but it doesn't really say anything about the issue one way or the other.

  6. If that isn't true, as you suggest, how do you explain the zillions of books, articles, blogs, websites, and the like that screams out how men are so despicable?

  7. That's not true Mickey. Most women think highly of men because of certain qualities. We bring balance into their lives. If they don't think highly of men they are either a feminist or just haven't met a guy with the right qualities for her.

  8. Women don't think highly of guys to begin with. So what's the difference?

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