How Soon You Should Call Her After You Got Her Number

Practically every guy wonders at least at one stage in his life how soon he should call the girl after he met her and got her phone number. This is an important question, and I believe that a different answer applies depending upon how you met the girl and a number of other factors. Below are some of the most common situations and corresponding suggestions of when you should call the girl if you met her in one of those situations:

1. You had a very short interaction with a woman. Perhaps you met at an elevator or in line at a coffee shop, exchanged a few words and a few jokes, and you got her number right before both of you had to rush back to your own business. In this case, calling a girl 2-3 days later would be perfectly appropriate. Calling her too soon will create the risk of coming across as needy or desperate. Wait for 5 days or longer, and she might literally forget who you were or might start resenting you for playing games and pretend that she doesn’t remember who you are. And, make no mistake about it – most women have heard about the “rules” and will know if you are playing the waiting game.

2. You met a girl at a bar, lounge, or a restaurant, you had a great conversation, and it is obvious that you like each other. In this case, you should not wait or make her wait for more than two days. If she liked you as much as you think she did, she will be anxious to hear from you, but if you wait too long to call, that positive anticipation of hearing from you on her part will turn into doubt or, again, resentment towards you for playing games.

3. You met a girl online, had an interesting e-mail exchange, and you asked her for a phone number. In this case, you can simply tell her when you will call her (over the weekend, or tomorrow evening, etc…) and stick to your word. It will make an early good impression on that woman, if you show that you are responsible guy, and you keep your word by doing as you say you will.

4. You met a girl at a bar or club, you had a great chemistry and connection and you spend many hours or even the whole night together. Whether or not you went “all the way”, you should call her the next day, or if you hung out till the morning, you should call her later that day as a matter of courtesy, if you are interested in seeing her again.

5. You have been introduced to a girl by a mutual friend at a house party or in a similar setting. You talked for a while, enjoyed each other’s company and you got her phomber at the end of the evening. Again, waiting for 2-3 days before you call her will be appropriate.

As you noticed above, I do not really recommend waiting for longer than 2-3 days before you call a girl, as waiting longer is likely to make more harm than good to those initial stages of communication and attraction. The only time when I suggest that you wait longer than three days is if it is obvious to you from your conversation with a woman that she had some bad recent experiences with guys who were very needy and desperate and who needed way too much of her time and attention. In this case, that woman might actually enjoy having a little more space and a little less pressure from a guy who she just met. The other situation, in which waiting longer is appropriate, is if the woman you met is actually in some kind of relationship right now, but is clearly unhappy about her situation and is looking for the way out. She might need a little more space and time to sort things out before she can focus her attention on you, so taking things slower in that case might be a good idea.

It’s also important to note that the more you liked each other during the initial interaction, and the better the connection you established back then, the less worried you should be about when to call her, because if she liked you, it doesn’t really matter all that much when you call her, unless again  – you make her wait too long.

Comments

  1. You are saying that the guy is playing games if he waits more than 2 to 3 days to call her in most situations. What you fail to realize is that she is also playing a game too, by not even calling him. If she was not playing any games, she would be initiating the first phone call 50 percent of the time. You women, already have the upper hand. Why can’t guys level out the playing field. You got it backwards … you are the one that’s playing the game … if you are interested in him, you can call him as well. He deserves to be treated like a prince, just as much as you deserve to be treated like a princess. Yeah, it also feels good for us to be called too. For a guy to call a week later is much better than the girl to never call. Think about that.

    • practicalhappiness.com says:

      @Vinto
      Many, if not most, women believe that part of being a “real” man is taking a leadership in those small and significant ways that make him come across as the one who is taking charge. This includes making a move and approaching a woman, getting her phone number and being the one who calls first. It is simply not a woman’s role to initiate the first call 50% of the time. Equality can be a great thing, but when it comes to gender dynamics in the very early stages of dating, striving for equality can have more downsides than benefits. Men and women are not built equally. We are fundamentally different in more ways than one, and therefore expecting equality might not be the right way to go.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Can women call first? Yes. Do some call first? Sure they do. But answer this how many women have you been truly interested chased you are called you first? This has nothing to do with equality. It has to do with the dynamics of how men/women are built eons ago. Men are hunters by nature. This whole I want a woman to pursue me thing yada yada yada feels good. So yes if you are simply looking for a good time then sure you might come across a woman who will pursue you. But I am almost certain when you are at a stage when you are looking for a actual partner for life it wont be a woman who went after you.

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