Uptight Women – How Being Uptight Hurts Your Dating Life

uptight women have dating issues There aren’t many men out there who want to deal with uptight women  – the ones who act like they are some kind of royalty, and who think that they should be treated like a very expensive and fragile artifact – with utmost gentle care without being exposed to any strong or controversial opinion or an inappropriate joke. In fact, I don’t know any such men except those guys who think that all women are uptight, and that’s just how it is, just because the few ones that they met happened to be that way.

Uptight women are hard to get along with on just about any level. An uptight woman can’t take a joke and is offended by that which is meant to entertain, is really hard to please and is easily and quickly offended by things which would be trivial and are not a big deal to others. Uptight women are also usually very moody and unpredictable. You just never know when she is going to snap on you, run out the door or start yelling at you for no significant reason.

When a guy goes out with an uptight woman, she would be constantly complaining about where they are, whether it’s dinner or any other common situation on a date, what’s going on around and what the guy said or did at any given moment – from his table manners to his views and opinion on some political issues. An uptight woman is hypersensitive and takes herself extremely seriously. She is more likely to give your waiter a hard time, return her food during dinner and ask for something else or be a pain in just about any other way. Many guys, even the most confident guys, will have a hard time relaxing and being themselves around such a woman.

Uptight Means Taking Yourself Way too Seriously 

For uptight women, being uptight is just one way to cover up their insecurities. Men who have a lot of dating experience and who have met different kinds of women throughout their life know that if a woman they are out with seems to be taking herself too seriously, it is a sure sign of her being uptight and insecure about who she is. This also mean that she probably feels deep on the inside that she is not all that. Otherwise, why should she even feel the need to bring up her accomplishment in a conversation in the first place? When you need to remind the men you meet of your claimed self worth, it comes across as some kind of defense mechanism against them perceiving you as low status, as if they had a reason to.

Some uptight women push men away even before they go out. When that cute guy, who they might be interested in going, is just trying to approach them, meet them and have that very first conversation with them – whether on line or in real life – their reaction is unreasonably skeptical and way too guarded. In response to a guy’s innocent joke or a witty comment, a typical uptight girl would roll her eyes and turn the other way instead of playing along with the banter that the guy initiated and seeing where that conversation takes them.

Uptight Means Having a Poor or No Sense of Humor

I bet that as a woman – sense of humor is one of the most important qualities that you are looking for in the men you meet, and you find it hard to imagine being attracted to a guy who doesn’t make you laugh with his sharp wit. It’s important to keep in mind that guys who are naturally funny and witty very much prefer women who can appreciate off-beat humor, who can dish a few jokes or sarcastic remarks on their own and who are definitely not uptight. To the men who are funny, sense of humor is just as important in the women they would like to date as it is to you in guys.  These types of men are certainly not interested in being overly cautious and politically correct, and they are not particularly interested in walking on eggshells when talking to a woman that they are attracted to. Small talk about weather and traffic is not going to cut it for them, even on a first date. They want to go beneath the surface sooner than later.

The truth is that the most confident, intelligent, educated, fun and otherwise attractive women are usually not uptight, because they don’t have to prove anything to anyone. They are secure at who they are and where they are in life, and they don’t mind laughing at things around them, including laughing at themselves. In fact they enjoy self-deprecating humor and they like guys who can enjoy the same. What uptight women are offended by will often entertain the easy going ones. The more experienced men know this. Having experienced a few bad dates with uptight men, these men consciously or subconsciously test every next women they meet with their unconventional humor in order to weed out the uptight and the narrow minded ones.

Why You Are Uptight and What You Can Do About It

If you are one of those few women who knows that she is uptight and she would like to change it, the most important first step you can and should do is this:

stop attributing serious meaning to statements that are obviously meant to be joke

I remember being out on a date with one girl. At one point she said, “well… in my opinion…” I immediately interrupted her, and I asked her to hold on a second. I then pulled out a notepad and a pen, assumed the position of being ready to write whatever she was going to say, looked back at her and said “ok, go head… I just want to make sure that I don’t miss any of your important opinion.” Instead of laughing, or playfully slapping me and calling me an ass, she took it very seriously, and asked me with a semi-angry tone “You don’t think my opinions are important because I am a woman, ha?”  – talk about being uptight and taking yourself seriously.  This is just one example of how you should not and would not react if you were comfortable with your place in the world as a woman, and if you didn’t doubt in the value of your opinions.  That reaction was a major turn-off to me and a sure red flag that that interaction wasn’t going very far.

About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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  • Jutta Gyllichsen

    That notepad thing does sound passive-aggressive even if you didnt meant it. she prob. thought you were making fun of her. I know I seem uptight and old-fashioned but with Fiance and my family I am warm.

  • Henry Fordney

    I suppose I agree with all of this except the last paragraph, you pulled a notepad and said you were going to write down what a person was saying so you wouldn’t forget any of it- of course you were going to get a weird reaction.

  • firsthelix

    That might be the case – for some. Through my experience I had to learn though that there are as many socially awkward women with hang-ups out there as men. The older they get, the more mature they are, one might think. For some that might be the case, others bring major unresolved baggage into the game when dating new potential partners. Those people are unable to really open up to someone new and often you have no clue why they behave the way they do. I agree with being superficial as a reason to judge immediately and not being able to open up. They will always make the wrong decision and wonder why relationships made on a first and superficial basis don’t last. But then there are more profound people who let life fuck up their minds, so nothing won’t be good enough anymore for them since the slightest worry will amplify a major fear that has been created over the past, be it having been “hurt” or other issues…

  • firsthelix

    There is another side of being uptight, it’s how they react to sexual innuendo (not even “dirty”). If they are easily offended already by smart sexual innuendo and words with double meaning, it’s an indication that most probably she has sexual inhibitions which can be another red flag.

    I don’t agree with the statement in the article that intelligent and educated women are usually not uptight. They might be intelligent when it comes to school and business subjects, but lack of social and emotional intelligence. Just imagine a cliché professor with thick glasses, you would not give him/her attributes like homorous or being quick-witted. You would rather think of somebody being easily offended by statements “below” his status. The key here is self-confidence, and a degree of social and emotional intelligence, which has nothing to do with education or school intelligence.

  • StarsCollide

    Smile.

  • The last part especially a good point. I also notice that women who complain about not meeting enough “quality” men are the ones who don’t have all that much to offer themselves.

  • Ray

    Also, people are different in every situation. No one is one dimensional. Even the bitchiest woman or the douchiest man can be a sweet and wonderful person to someone they are enamored by.

  • Ray

    It’s only because everything you said is really the epitome of what this article is talking about in male form. You feel the need to talk yourself up. You don’t like uptight women but you yourself are uptight and take yourself so seriously. However, I don’t think anyone should be censored.

  • R

    I’m new here and have been reading what “student and teacher” says because she has commented here a lot. To put it bluntly just plain ignore whatever she says because its wrong; just like this comment is wrong. She has clearly missed the point and she does EVERY time.

    Uptight women are uptight; all the time; with EVERY guy they meet. Its not selectively and even though ms. teacher can’t “bash them for it” I will. The whole point of the article is that uptight women cannot be approached by ANY GUY and the fact that they act cold, aloof, and disrespectful towards guys means these guys will NOT approach other women either (because they will expect the same treatment). So until these uptight women learn to be more open and accepting they will NEVER meet any guys (because none of them are good enough), they make it miserable for the guys who do try to approach them, AND they ruin it for other women who DO want to be approached. So if you are one of these uptight women, either mellow the hell out and welcome guys who approach you or just stay the hell home and pout.

    One final comment, these are usually the same women who claim “where are all the good men?” but when men approach them they shoot them down.

  • Mickey

    R:

    You are my hero!!!

  • student and teacher

    As a caveat I must say that if a woman is being uptight it is probably not because she is interested and doesn’t know how to act. Its probably that she isn’t interested so she’s not going to open up to a guy.

    If a woman finds you to be unattractice in some way or not right for them, they’ll certainly have their guards up. Not an error on their part, but nobodys fault. Just a lack of chemistry.

    Some people are more superficial and if they aren’t attracted to a guy instantly, they won’t be open and friendly. And I can’t bash them for it. We all have our tastes.

    But yeah guys as you say should keep their humor and wit about them because its not the humor and wit that hurt their chances with the uptight women. Its probably another quality about them that they didn’t like.

    I know some really happy couples who have a really odd sense of humor and even act like children sometimes so its about finding someone like you rather than accomodating yourself to people who don’t like you