When Your Guy Watches Porn

(Last Updated On: 08/04/2014)

guy watching pornIt is not uncommon for a woman to become extremely frustrated, jealous, angry and upset when she finds out that her dating partner/boyfriend/husband routinely watches porn on his computer or TV. This usually causes a woman to become jealous and doubt her own looks and self-worth, putting pressure on her to try and look like one of those models on the sites. What should she do? Should she dump the guy and move on or should she try to resolve this issue with the guy who she otherwise has a good relationship with and has feelings for?

While I cannot unilaterally and unequivocally answer this question, I would like to bring to your attention several, essential factors that you must consider and which may help find an effective solution to this problem and aleviate your pain and frustration:

1. Whenever I address a certain issue or a problem which is very common, I believe that it’s very useful to not waste time, energy and emotions on criticizing it, but instead try to understand it first. After all, if the problem is so common, there must be some compelling reasons for its existence that are worth consideration. This clearly applies to porn. Pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry. In fact, it’s one of the most profitable industries in any economy. It’s driven by one of the most powerful human desires  – male sex drive that craves constant novelty and variety. Some guys will admit it while others are embarrassed to face the truth, but almost all guys watch or used to look at porn, get excited and masturbate to porn at one time or another in their life. Porn industry appeals to the mens most sexually explicit fantasies – fantasies that they can hardly ever fulfill in real life.

2. There is no point in being jealous of the porn models on the internet. These are just abstract images of other women. You must not compare yourself to them, because to your guy it makes absolutely no difference who is more attractive. He is not looking for something more attractive on the internet; he is looking for something new, something different – no more and no less. This drive cannot be eliminated or suppressed, as long as the guy is healthy and sexually driven. Your guy’s watching pornography doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or is not attracted to you. In fact, it has nothing to do with it.

3. Like anything else, watching porn should be done in moderation. Excessive, daily porn use and masturbation to porn will significantly reduce or even fully suppress the guy’s desire to have sex with his own partner. If you were to ask your guy to completely stay away from porn  for 3-5 days, you are guaranteed to have a much better, and a much more passionate lover. But how do you make sure that your dating or relationship partner doesn’t abuse porn? Like with all other issues, open and honest communication is the key. First, you must accept that your guy will watch and enjoy porn every now and then. You have to tell him that it’s ok with you, asking him to be discreet about it and not “rub it” in your face. Then, you should discuss how his excessive use of porn reduces his sex drive towards you and how it affects your relationship. This might just make your guy reconsider the frequency with which he uses porn and get stimulated through internet less often.

4. There is another, somewhat unconventional and radical but very effective and exciting way to solve this problem – join him and watch his porn together! There are thousands of porn websites out there, that appeal to just about every conceivable fantasy. Join your partner and try to find movies that appeal and arouse both of you, and that might just ignite your romantic life in ways that nothing else could. After all, if you can’t beat something, why not try to befriend it and benefit from it. You might just discovery a world that is very different from what you thought it is.

About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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