As a woman who is actively dating and looking to meeting that special guy who she would settle with, start a family and hopefully be with forever after, you have to take certain very practical considerations in mind. especially these days when having a comfortable lifestyle seems to cost more than ever before.
As you meet guys, your mind is often racing. Did that guy you recently meet go to a good school? Is he professionally successful and financially stable? If he isn’t today, what are his chances of providing your family with a comfortable life in the foreseeable future. Does he come from a good and stable family?What about his past? Did he have long term relationships or has he been a player for many years prior to meeting you?
The above considerations are extremely valid. However, they should not stand in your way toward being clear about who you are sexually and mentally attracted to. You have to ask yourself other very important questions. Are you looking forward to seeing, touching, laughing with, exchanging ideas, and having sex with that particular guy? When you watch a movie on your own, do you wish he was around so that you could share your impressions with him? When you read an article online, are you eager to share it with him, because you know that he will see it the same way you do? Does his company make you feel good or does his presence do nothing for you? Putting aside his credentials, do you generally miss him when he is not around or do you really not care?
Most relationships based on comfort only eventually fall apart, because comfort alone is simply not enough. Contrary to what you might think, not being too excited about seeing a guy today will get worse later. A year or two or five from now, your emotional indifference will translate into you being annoyed by him, and you will seek a way out. If you don’t, you will starting hating your life and him. But it would not be fair to blame him for your decision to be with him.
Sometimes, people “learn” to love each other with time. This happens occasionally in arranged marriages. However, this happens way to rarely, and you simply cannot bet into developing feeling for a guy years from now if you don’t really feel what you know you want to feel toward your partner today.