Expecting your girlfriend to never whine or complain about anything is unrealistic and even naive. Being at least a little bitchy every now and then is actually part of feminine nature. It’s not a good thing or a bad thing – it just is. Sooner or later, most girls you would start dating will show you that side of them. The whining and the nagging will start and it will be worse on some days than others. Some women will blame the nagging on their period, while others will blame stress at work and office drama, and personal problems. Regardless of what the reasons for your girlfriend’s whining and nagging are, learning how to deal with it is very important to making your relationship work in the long run.
Fighting over every little thing is a bad idea, but so is the other extreme – giving in all the time. Both of these one-sided strategies will fail. The first one will cause so many unnecessarily conflicts that it will make your relationship unbearable. The latter – the constant giving up on your position – is going to make your girlfriend go further and further in pushing you where she wants to go, while making you more and more bitter and unhappy about doing things not because you want to but because you are forced to. It’s part of our nature to push the envelope as far as we can. You need to know where to draw the line and let your girlfriend know that in some cases, your “no” is non-negotiable. When a woman gets her way all the time, she will try to take advantage of it, and she will go further and further in the future.
So, you must ask yourself which fights are worth fighting. Do you really care what restaurant you will be going to, or what movie you will be watching this coming Friday night? Do you really care what kind of coffee or cheese you buy when you are at a grocery store? If not, don’t make a big deal out of it. Let her make those choices.
If your girlfriend is complaining about something insignificant, such as the taste of her salad at a restaurant, or you leaving your socks on the floor, that’s the kind of stuff that you should resolve quickly and not escalate. There is no need to argue or get defensive. Let her complain for a while and it will likely be over before you know it.
On the other hand – if you like to do something (alone or with your friends) that really makes you happy and your girlfriend challenges you on that, demanding you to spend that specific time with her just to show that she is more important than that hobby or interest or close friends of yours, this might be the time to put her back in her place. This is the kind of situation where having a fight or two over this to make it clear that you are not going to stop watching that game or going fishing once every few weeks with friends or doing whatever else you like doing, just because she pressures you to. Either you put your foot down and she accepts the fact that she can’t and she won’t take away those simple things that make you happy; or – she doesn’t accept it then your relationship will have far more seriously problems.
This doesn’t mean that you have to threaten her or yell at her. “Either I do this, or we break up” kinds of ultimatums never work. Instead, be firm and do what you planned to do once or twice and if she cares about you enough, she will get the message and she will learn to respect that there are certain things in your life that cannot be taken away from you. Often, this kind of rigid approach makes you appear more masculine and more attractive because it shows strength of character.