Expecting your girlfriend to never whine or complain about anything is unrealistic and even naive. Being at least a little bitchy every now and then is actually part of feminine nature. It’s not a good thing or a bad thing – it just is. Sooner or later, most girls you would start dating will show you that side of them. The whining and the nagging will start and it will be worse on some days than others. Some women will blame the nagging on their period, while others will blame stress at work and office drama, and personal problems. Regardless of what the reasons for your girlfriend’s whining and nagging are, learning how to deal with it is very important to making your relationship work in the long run.
Fighting over every little thing is a bad idea, but so is the other extreme – giving in all the time. Both of these one-sided strategies will fail. The first one will cause so many unnecessarily conflicts that it will make your relationship unbearable. The latter – the constant giving up on your position – is going to make your girlfriend go further and further in pushing you where she wants to go, while making you more and more bitter and unhappy about doing things not because you want to but because you are forced to. It’s part of our nature to push the envelope as far as we can. You need to know where to draw the line and let your girlfriend know that in some cases, your “no” is non-negotiable. When a woman gets her way all the time, she will try to take advantage of it, and she will go further and further in the future.
So, you must ask yourself which fights are worth fighting. Do you really care what restaurant you will be going to, or what movie you will be watching this coming Friday night? Do you really care what kind of coffee or cheese you buy when you are at a grocery store? If not, don’t make a big deal out of it. Let her make those choices.
If your girlfriend is complaining about something insignificant, such as the taste of her salad at a restaurant, or you leaving your socks on the floor, that’s the kind of stuff that you should resolve quickly and not escalate. There is no need to argue or get defensive. Let her complain for a while and it will likely be over before you know it.
On the other hand – if you like to do something (alone or with your friends) that really makes you happy and your girlfriend challenges you on that, demanding you to spend that specific time with her just to show that she is more important than that hobby or interest or close friends of yours, this might be the time to put her back in her place. This is the kind of situation where having a fight or two over this to make it clear that you are not going to stop watching that game or going fishing once every few weeks with friends or doing whatever else you like doing, just because she pressures you to. Either you put your foot down and she accepts the fact that she can’t and she won’t take away those simple things that make you happy; or – she doesn’t accept it then your relationship will have far more seriously problems.
This doesn’t mean that you have to threaten her or yell at her. “Either I do this, or we break up” kinds of ultimatums never work. Instead, be firm and do what you planned to do once or twice and if she cares about you enough, she will get the message and she will learn to respect that there are certain things in your life that cannot be taken away from you. Often, this kind of rigid approach makes you appear more masculine and more attractive because it shows strength of character.
It’s really not that hard…
Imagine your girlfriend is a coworker of yours, and it’s a workplace. Would her request be reasonable, given this?
If it was from a coworker, you’d answer calls, texts, and emails promptly. You would say what you mean and mean what you say — no stupid “jokes” or immature “ribbing”. You would do your part for the team, without having to be endlessly reminded of your responsibilities. You would not show up falling down shitfaced drunk, and expect your coworker to just put up with it. If you are failing to treat her as well as you would even a random coworker, she has every reason to “nag” you and quite frankly, you deserve it. Pull your head out of your ass and step up, before she gets sick and tired of dating a manchild and steps OUT.
On the other hand, if she’s complaining that you have hobbies of your own, need some private time every now and then, have food preferences that she does not share, like movies she doesn’t like, etc. then she’s just being unreasonable and you should rightly stand your ground. You have a responsibility to fulfill your duties to the relationship. However, you also have the right to be YOU, and without being browbeaten for it.
Every time I deal with my nagging girlfriend I feel like she has something to complain about everyday . I’ve never had so much stress over small things . I honestly feel like I aged 6 yrs in the past 3 . standing your ground . tends to be explosive but effective . it sucks because if I don’t , she just gets worse by the second getting angrier .
I am sorry to hear that and this is not a good situation. One approach which sometimes works is having a conversation about the big picture of your frictions and arguments when you are both not angry at each other and where you would be able to come up with some type of plan of treating each other better.
In some cases, being mean and impatient is a subconscious sign that someone just wants out and they are looking for an excuse. Whether that’s a situation in your case depends of course on many other factors but that’s a question that both you and her should honestly answer, at least to themselves.
I love it when a guy stands for himself.
I’ve got a better one guys!!
Don’t get involved with women at all!!
If a woman nagged me all the time, I would tell her where to go, how to get there, draw her a map and lead her there by the hand!!
I have ZERO patience for the shit testing women do!!
I want to smoke my cigar, play my videogames, hunt and fish in peace, not with some nagamonster following me around telling me what I am not doing.
In my opinion, vagina is simply not worth it. Waaaay to expensive in my opinion!!
Steven D. Timm: YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!! YOU, SIR, ARE MY HERO!!! PREACH ON!!!
No, I will not be some chick’s punching bag!
You become a bigger punching bag when you throw pointless punches back.
No, I become a bigger punching bag when I don’t stand up for myself. Secondly, if she wants to blow off steam, let her go to her man-hating girlfriends. That’s what they’re there for, isn’t it?