Take Your Single Girlfriends’ Dating Advice With a Grain of Salt

girlfriends' dating adviceThere is no way around it – if you have single girlfriends who have been having a hard time meeting and connecting with guys for a meaningful relationship, they might just not be so happy if you start seeing someone who you are serious and where your feelings are reciprocated by the guy.  This is for two main reasons:

First, your girlfriends are going to be upset that they don’t get to enjoy as much of your time and attention as back when you were single. Once the amount of calls and text messages from you subside, they will naturally feel neglected and upset about your attention that has been diverted from them to that guy.

Secondly, and more importantly, women of a comparable age get naturally jealous of other women who have a “superior” love life. This is because women are inherently competitive with each other and feel entitled to having what other women have. This is why, like the picture above indicates, single women have a hard time hiding the fact that they don’t enjoy watching their friends show or receive affection from men. This is in part because of the inherently presumptive nature of the human kind and female kind in particular. A typical woman is looking for a meaning in everything. She can’t help but resent, even if ever so mildly, the fact that her girlfriend is dating someone, because it means that that other girl is more attractive or she has something that brought that guy into her life and the first doesn’t. This is hard to digest without being at least someone envious. Look at the picture above and ask yourself –  how often were any of your friends as excited about the guy you met as you were? I bet not often. How about you – how often do you mentally refer to the guys that your female friends date as “I would have never gone out with him” or “I cannot imagine having sex with him”, or “He is not all that”, etc? I bet you think or say this much more often than “I am so excited for you. This guy is a great catch and you should try to make this work.” It’s possible that you really found those guys to be that unattractive, but the fact that they are talking to your friends is a factor in your negative attitude toward them.

This is exactly the reason that when you share your relationship problems with your single girlfriends, they will likely try to turn you against the guy even more and will encourage you to break up with him. Under the guise of acting like she cares about you when she urges you stay away from the guy you have feelings for and like she is trying to protect you, wishing the best for you, the real reason for her attempt to end your relationship is something other than her concern for your well being. It’s her desire for both – to have more of your time and attention and also to make sure that you don’t have a superior dating / love life.

Your friends might not even consciously wish to hurt you be inciting you against that guy you met or started seeing, and their behavior might be in a way instinctual. However, this doesn’t change the bottom line – the fact that you should not blindly follow your girlfriends’ dating advice or relationship guidance, because more often than not it’s not a good one for their own, conscious or subconscious, selfish reasons.

 

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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