This truism can be translated into many other situations, including your very first date with a woman. If your date destination – the cafe, the bar, or the restaurant you are headed to is an issue, then that’s really not the issue, but the real problem is the lack of sufficient interest between the two of you. In other words, you are not excited enough to meet each other so that you do not care that much about where you are meeting or even what you are doing on that date.
What are some of the common reasons for this lack of excitement these days? –
- One or both of you isn’t that interested in dating in general at the moment due to having gone on too many pointless dates, and just having general dating fatigue. As a result, the goal is not to find love but to simply fill up the time with any activity with whoever.
- Being too busy and too consumed with work, personal issues and other obligations, which leaves very little time and energy to make dating a priority. This in turn translates into low-effort behavior on dates due to being way too distracted by everything else that’s going on in your life, which so often leads to one boring date after another.
- Last but not least – not having established sufficient interest before going out on that date. That’s exactly where picking up the phone, hearing each other’s voice and talking to each other comes in. When you go out on a date while looking forward to meeting the other person after you have enjoyed talking to them on the phone, this will be a completely different experience from meeting someone you never spoke with at all and trying to force some type of fake conversation out of nowhere and without any context. I have witnessed a few of those conversations and they almost always sound so awkward and so bland. And no – a few text messages don’t really count. Many people these days consider phone calls to be inefficient or even a “waste of time”, and they prefer to wait to speak with each other in person to see if there is a “spark”. This idea is disconnected from how attraction actually works in the real world. No one says you have to hang on the phone for hours before your date, but one or two short phone calls where you can feel each other’s energy and hear eacho other’s voice can be so helpful to enhancing that date, or – save you the trouble of going on that date if the phone call didn’t go very well.
Going back to the issue of your date destination – if you are struggling to figure out what to do on that upcoming date because you think it matters so much, chances are that you haven’t established sufficient connection with the girl you are talking to, or else – it wouldn’t matter this much. You would simply be excited about being in each other’s company regardless of where.
