Meeting women at networking events and conferences remains one of the more exciting and realistic ways of meeting women in real life. This is especially true since people seem to be flirting and approaching each other in person less and less these days, and also – they are getting more and more sick of relying or exclusively relying on dating apps.
There are several undeniable reasons why professional events are so great for meeting women (and men). And, if you behave correctly under the circumstances, the risk of any type of rejection is minimal to non-existent. So, why are professional events so great for meeting women? Again, this is one of the few remaining types of situations where people meet in person in a comfortable setting, and they are there to socialize one way or another. The vibe at a typical networking event is usually happy and positive. People dress better for those events than for most other occasions, and they are trying to make a positive impression on other attendees. This is also one of the safest places for women to meet guys, who they know have at least some ambition and focus in life.
Lastly, chances are that any woman you talk to at a professional event will be more friendly than in most other places, because she kind of has to be and also because you are talking to her for a “legitimate” industry-related reason, at least at first. If that conversation doesn’t go anywhere beyond work, nothing gained, nothing lost. If you connect, then she will have a story to tell about meeting a guy at a professional event which she would be far more proud to tell than another Bumble or Tinder story.
So, how to set up an interaction at a professional event with a woman you might be interested in, in a way that would create a realistic opportunity for seeing her again in a more personal setting?
(1) Make sure your conversation with her during the event isn’t 100% focused on work. It is perfectly appropriate to mostly discuss business at a professional event, but if you want her to see you as more than a professional contact, you have to get more personal. You can do it in a very subtle way by weaving personal questions here and there into your conversations to test the waters, such as “By the way, where did you go to school?”, “When did you move here and what inspired the move?” “Do you work remotely or do you go to the office? Do you wish it was different?”, etc.
The way a woman handles those questions will tell you a lot about whether there is any potential there. If she answers very briefly and rushes to return to talk about business or tries to distance herself from you and talk to others at the event, then she might not be so inclined to get to know you on a personal level.
However, if she answers those types of questions with some enthusiasm then it might be a green light to continue having a more personal conversation with her. It’s even a better sign if she asks you more personal questions about yourself in response, in which case you have all the more reasons to continue speaking with her and take your conversation away from work and to other topics.
(2) Don’t linger around her during the event for too long and don’t be too aggressive. Do not make the same mistake that 20 year-old guys make when they start going to clubs, and when they meet a girl, who they then hover over for as long as possible, hoping to “score” that same night, if they stay near her the entire night. Talk to the woman you are interested in for 20-30 minutes, get her contact information, and then excuse yourself and let her talk to other people and do what she planned to do at that event in the first place.
This way, she won’t feel trapped in her conversation with you and won’t feel like she missed out on what she came there for – i.e. to meet and network with as many people as possible. And, of course, it goes without saying that you shouldn’t be engaging in any type of sexual innuendos, verbally or physically, in that setting.
(3) Ask her for her contact information the right way. Make it very casual and low-pressure. You are not asking her on a date. You are not telling her that you want to call her and take her out, or anything like that. “It was nice meeting you. Perhaps we would could talk again?” is perfectly appropriate. If she seems to be receptive, your only follow-up should be “Great. How about I call you sometime?” Get her number / email address, wish her a good night, and excuse yourself.
(4) Contact her the right way and at the right time. Send her a simple, light, short text or email 2-3 days later: “Hey, it was great meeting you at that event the other day. How have you been?” If she responds and appears to welcome speaking with you further, then your next steps should be “Can I call you tomorrow evening?”. Then talk to her on the phone and ask her to meet, again, without labeling it as a date. What will determine whether it’s a date or not is the dynamic between the two of you when you meet again. Why 2-3 days later? – If you text her the same day or the next day, you will seem way too eager and she will feel the type of pressure beyond her comfort level, which might scare her away.
The exception to this idea is that if that woman made it very clear during the event that she really likes you, and she really wants to talk to you and see you again. In that case, texting her the following day might actually be a good idea, or else she will be disappointed that she didn’t hear from you the next day after you had such a great time getting to know each other and having such good chemistry. Still, consider avoiding this big texting mistake that men make so often with women, especially when they meet someone they really like and are excited about.
Quite a few men are concerned that hitting on a woman at a professional event is inappropriate, and that it would appear creepy. But, it really doesn’t have to be. If you approach any such interaction the right way, if you are not being overly aggressive about it at the wrong time, and if you abandon the idea as soon as you get any signs that your advances, however subtle they might be, are unwelcome, then there is virtually no chance that you will appear as doing anything inappropriate.
