Surely it’s not a secret to you that physical attraction is critical importance to a man’s romantic interest in a woman. An overweight woman is going to get far less attention and sexual interest from the opposite sex than a thinner woman. (The truth is that women prefer fitter guys just as much, but perhaps they are more willing to “forgive” an overweight guy if he has other redeeming qualities).
So, what if you are overweight? Should you follow Oprah advice of liking and respecting yourself for who you are and continue to be reluctant to lose weight?
The are two answers to this question – the easy one and the harder one. Many overweight women resort to an “easy” solution of blaming men for being superficial and refusing to lose weight in order to be more attractive to men. This easy solution is nothing but an excuse to not take action – to not improve her appearance, self esteem, dating life and … literally all aspects of life. If it’s change that you are after – if you want your romantic life to be better, this solution is not for you, because it will not lead to any change. If your body looks the same tomorrow as it does today, why would it be more attractive and more desirable to men? Confidence is important, and I admire any overweight woman who carries herself with confidence, but confidence alone will not cut it.
Like in many other areas of life, in this case, the more difficult solution is the one that is much more likely to be rewarding and making a real difference in your life by dramatically improving every single moment of your existence. This real solution to the excess weight problem is making an uncompromising decision to not settle for the body in which you are living today and beginning to lose weight to become healthier, more attractive and as a result – a happier person. The process of losing weight is challenging and slow and it requires real changes in your lifestyle, but it is well worth it. Imagine feeling lighter, more energetic, not breathing as heavily when you walk uphill or up the stairs, being able to engage in different sports and actually enjoying it. Imagine becoming healthier and living longer. Imagine getting the looks from guys around you and especially those men who see you and your body change when you wear a flattering outfit which makes you feel sexier and more desirable.
Imagine your confidence and self-esteem sky-rocket as you overcome and transforming your body into something better and more beautiful. Imagine becoming a happier person who radiates a more positive energy and starts attracting the opposite sex not only with her body but also with her personality as a result of having a more attractive body. All of those incredible changes are awaiting you if you decide to not settle for being fat and committing to doing something about it. The photo above is chosen for a reason. This woman’s body is very attractive but she is far from being skinny. In fact she could gain 15-20 lbs and still no guy would kick her out of bed. If you are overweight, your goal is not become skin and bones but to become normal/curvy/voluptuous, especially if you have the proper “coke bottle” shape.
Recently I conducted a social experiment which lead to incredible results: the vast majority of women who are not overweight are sexually desirable to practically all heterosexual men. This means that having a leaner body alone will very likely make you sexually attractive to almost every guy.
And again – lets be completely honest about it – being overweight hurts men just as much. Women find guys who are “chiseled” and who have a more pronounced facial bone structure so much more attractive than those who have round faces, double chin, and beer gut.
Remember: life rewards initiative and action in virtually every aspect of what we do. Losing weight and making your body healthier and better looking is not an exception to this rule. There are a few things we can change about our anatomy without surgical intervention, and the shape of our body is one of them, and it is surely worth the effort.
“And lets be completely honest about it – being overweight hurts men just as much. Women find those men and male faces attractive that have pronounced bone structure and that are “chiseled”. A woman would rarely notice a guy who is chubby and who has a round face with double chin.”
Ok, I gotta ask, what about us guys who don’t have the genetics for “chiseled” faces? Are we just out of luck ;)? Because even when I was thin, I am overweight now, my face had softness to it and was round.
In dating, I have been overweight and I have been thin and you are right — men do find you more attractive when you are thin, but here's the important point — finding you sexually attractive doesn't necessarily make them want to have a relationship with you.
You don't necessarily attract a better quality man either just because you are thin. Am I saying that losing weight isn't a good thing? Absolutely not. What I am saying however, is that being thin makes your dating experience different, not necessarily better. So, the motivation to lose weight and to keep it off should be for how it makes you feel, not for attracting men.
Hi, Kenley. I completely agree. Sexual attraction is not enough to have a relationship, but it’s one necessary element without which it’s hard to have one. Of course, being thin you have more choices, which means – more choices of good and bad, but here other factors come into play, including luck of meeting the “right” kind of guys.
I've been reading some of these articles in order to understand the female mind better, and to ultimately to a better boyfriend for my lady. I respond to this article because of how powerfully true it is for me. A woman could have a very homely face, small or floppy breasts, no hair, whatever. But if she has a nice body, absolutely nothing else matters for attraction. My girlfriend has some insecurities about herself, and believes that men don't look at her. But after she has been running or working out for a while and I can see that her body is reshaping, it drives me wild. And there are lots (and lots) of guys who think like me.
So I encourage the ladies to stop with the painted-on makeup and stupid outfits. Eat less, eat better, and exercise a hell of a lot more. And as you watch your body develop, watch the men take notice and start to check you out. With a few months of discipline you might be in a very different world. If you are not willing to do the hard work and lose weight, then don't whine about your situation.
You are speaking from a white or nonblack mans perspective, especially about the makeup. I have observed that white men seem to like their women plain Jane and nondescript, unfashionable even. I would never be a “basic” woman to attract any man and real men appreciate a woman’s effort to do her makeup , take care of her hair as well as her weight and dress to as though she cares about her appearance. I don’t care how thin or fit you are when you put on flats with a evening gown, barely there makeup and hair in a plain Jane hairstyle you look frumpy just as you would if you were overweight. And since you are probably a blah white guy, let me define the new definition of “basic” for you because the it has a totally different connotation today and it isn’t good.
Basic women wear yoga and workout clothes while not working out or doing yoga. She wears barely there makeup or non at all and her hair is the same style year after year. She is always worried about wearing too much makeup or being noticed because she is wearing a colorful eyeshadow. She is always wearing tee-shirts and jeans, sneakers or flats. She never wears false eyelashes or truly red lipstick unless she is going out which she will wear flats instead of heels. Her boyfriend is basic too( this is where you fit in). He doesn’t want her to wear makeup or high heels but he notices the women who do and jacks off to them or checks them out and wishes he were with them even if only once.
Keep your suggestion to your own race of women which I don’t think you’ll have a problem doing since a white man’s view is the center(note the sarcasm).
Have a nice basic life with your basic self
I would have liked to have lost more however I didn't now here comes the challenge of losing the rest myself.I was 257 when I got the surgery now i'm 187 that was 2 years ago when I got it done. To make a long story short and being honest as the person who wrote this article working on your body does make a difference
I feel it is very true in what is being said loosing weight isn't easy but it does pay off. I got gastric bypass and I only lost 67 pounds from it an that made a difference inmy apperance