How Online Dating Hurts Your Confidence

online dating confidenceYour confidence is just like any muscle. You are born with a certain degree of confidence. Practice will make you more confident and lack of practice will make you less confident with time. This is why guys who start dating after divorce and after being out of the game feel so incapable of approaching and meeting women. This applies to all kinds of situations, including approaching and meeting women as well as being approached.

1. Online dating eliminates that need for guys to rise to the occasion.  

I know from personal experience that once you overcome the fear of approaching and talking to girls, just about any other social situation becomes easy in comparison, including speaking in class or in front of a large audience. This is because starting conversations with women might be one of the biggest challenges to your personal confidence.

Meeting women online eliminates the necessity for guys to overcome the anxiety associated with approaching and starting conversations with women. Men no longer need to go out there and exercise this important muscle, flexing which would make them so much more confident with women and also in many other important areas of life.

2. Online dating makes women less confident as well. 

If you are a guy reading this, you might be surprised to hear that it takes confidence not only to approach and meet new people but to also to be able to handle the situation where you are being approached. As a woman, you need to know how to reject the guys you are not interested in, and also how to”cooperate” with the guys who come up to you and talk to you, who you might be interested in, so you help them break the ice and don’t missed out yourself on meeting them.

As a guy, you have probably been in a situation where an attractive girl asked for directions or what time it was. Were you ready to engage her in a conversation to see if you could connect with her and go out with her later? I bet you missed a few of those opportunities, and this should tell you how a girl might feel in the same situation. If you were too shy or simply not ready at that very moment to make a move on a girl who actually started talking to you, imagine how difficult it is for women, especially the least experienced among them, to do the same.

Knowing how to deal with attention from men also requires practice and experience. When a woman is no longer approached by men because they choose to meet women mostly or only online, she is out of practice as far as talking to the guys she meets in real life goes. This makes it harder on both – her and the few guys who would approach her.

3. Do not miss out on the excitement of meeting people in real life.

I agree to a degree that how you meet someone doesn’t really matter all that much about an hour after you meet them. If you like each other, it won’t matter at all in a long run how you met, and if you didn’t like each other it still won’t matter.

On the other hand, still – meeting someone in person, when you are out and about, is so much more interesting and exciting, and has much greater emotional impact, especially on women, who are not approached today nearly as much as they used to be in the past. Whether you are a guy who approached a girl at a bar/club/grocery store/coffee shop and got her phone number or whether you are girl who has been flatted by being approached by a guy at the unexpected time and place, you are going to think about that interaction for some time and possible for the rest of the day. If you liked him/her, you are going to feel way more excited about than from any message you would get online on any of the dating sites.

Share with us how online dating affect your dating life and how you feel about meeting new people online and in real life, as well as going out on dates.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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