Selfishness is generally considered a bad quality. No one will take being called selfish as a compliment, and many of us are in a total denial about being selfish even in situations where we most definitely are. Despite that, being selfish is essential to having a good love life. This is because it takes a certain degree of selfishness to tell yourself that you are not going to sacrifice your love life for school, or work or any other commitment. If you don’t look after yourself and your own romantic and sexual needs, no one else will – not even your best friends or parents. Your professors are not going to go easy on you with their term paper deadlines to match your schedule with your dates. And your boss will surely not reduce your hours and workload in order to encourage you to go out on more dates or spend more time with your significant other. You are the only one who can do that for yourself.
Many women selflessly sacrifice their time to their demanding jobs and other obligations, feeling at the end of a long day that they are heroes because they worked another 16 hour day. However, unless they literally save lives at work, i.e. unless you are an ER nurse or a doctor or in Piece Corps or Red Cross, that sacrifice is just made for corporate profits and a potential career move upward. Both are of questionable importance at best, when compared to the price paid in terms of not having the time, the energy and the drive to meet guys, go out, date, have sex. No promotion will make up for missing out on that which makes life worth living – love, affection, sensuality and romantic connection, or at least an opportunity to be looking for it. No amount of money will make up for you not being able to relax on your dates and actually enjoy them without worrying about checking e-mail on your phone and worrying about your deadlines. A selfish woman realizes this and she refuses to put her love life on a back burner.
If you are selfish in all the right ways, you will be seeking pleasure that can only be derived from affection, sex, romance and love that you have seen in your favorite romantic movies. You are not going to treat those movies and romantic novels as unrealistic fantasies. You are going to believe that you can and you are actually entitled to having that kind of experience in your own life. When you feel entitled, you are much most likely to take action and make that your own reality. You will not let anything or anyone stand in your way toward having or at least trying to build a fulfilling love life.