Should You Share Your Body Count With Your New Dating Partner?

sharing body countI can’t think of any benefit in sharing how many people you slept with before meeting that most recent person you started seeing. This is of course especially true, if your body count is alarmingly high. What purpose would disclosing this information serve, and how would it make your connection better, unless your new partner is very religious and this information is extremely important to him or her?  The only other reason you would want to share your colorful sexual past is just becuase you want to be as open and honest as you possibly can be. But do you really have to volunteer this information? Most likely not.

But, what if the person you started seeing is asking you  about the number of partners you have had? They may or may not be able to handle the truth, even if they assure you they can and encourage you to be completely open and honest. And, ironically – they more they like you the harder it will be for them to handle them learning about your high body count. This is just our nature – they more we like someone, the more possessive we become about who they are.

You then may wonder if it’s any of their business at all to ask you such a personal question. However, if you get to know each other better and become closer, it kind of does become their business. The best way to address this question is to be “strategically ambiguous” and respond with “like most of us, I have had my share of experiences, some of which were better than others” but without putting an actual number on your “body count”.  While this might not be the most ethical way of handling this question, it might just be the most pragmatic – an effective way not to ruin a promising connection with someone you really like over information that really has no relevance to your present relationship.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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liz
liz
1 month ago

i want to know a man has SOME body count though. If he gets to a certain age (25) without any sex experience that means he has somehow not convinced another woman to have sex with him which is rare. Especially since i have some experience. You can finesse the conversation as a woman and know that the man can at least satisfy you

liz
liz
1 month ago
Reply to  practicalh

my husband had no experience but i had some with a couple of guys from town and college. Husband surprised i was skilled at oral sex and disappointed he finished so quickly. It took a few months to get hime up to speed and handling my needs. If he had experience it would have been easier. We handled this in few months of engagement but if we got married with him as virgin there would have been more problems

Liz
Liz
1 month ago
Reply to  practicalh

We solved the months before wedding but I have had 6 lovers so way ahead. For ex I performed oral sex 10 times before I not so gently reminded him it goes both ways. Me on top was a disaster as he was not big or hard enough. We got a rythym now but not without work

liz
liz
1 month ago
Reply to  practicalh

we got married but i had to get his skills up to par as i have experienced a few men so skiilled and/or endowed. He had never performed oral sex and after me doing it 10x i had to explain there would not be an 11th. Also intercourse with me on top needed work, he hardly knew what it was