One common advice that guys hear from many of the dating gurus out there is that complimenting women is a bad idea because it makes any guy come across as needy or desperate and make the female recipient of those compliments less interested in you. Although this is sometimes true, like any other overly generalized and categorical advice, this suggestion can also be misleading. I believe there are right and there are wrong way to compliment a woman, and if you will follow the six tips on complimenting women below, chances are that you will do it the right way:
1. Make Sure that the Timing of Your Compliment is Right
Like flowers and gifts, a compliment from a complete stranger is not nearly as impactful and flattering as the one coming from someone you already know and/or like. This is why, trying to start a conversation and “pick up” a woman with a compliment is usually not a good idea, and you should only resort to compliments as a way to meet women when you absolutely cannot think of any other way to start a conversation. “You are beautiful”, “I like your shoes” and “I couldn’t help but notice you…” are some of the typical, overused ways to pick up women, that most attractive girls have heard dozens of times in person and just as many times in all the romantic movies they watch.
2. Make Sure that Your Compliment is Not Cheesy/Cliche
When you give a compliment to a woman, your compliment should be at least somewhat unique and specific to her. If at all possible, try to compliment on something you like or notice about her as a person and not just her looks. Every woman wants to be physically attractive, but every woman also wants to know that men see more in her than just her looks. It should not be very difficult for you to compliment a woman if you just have a regular conversation with her. It can be something as simple as you being impressed with the fact that she knows something that you didn’t expect her to know – “Wow, that’s impressive. You really know your painters/music/writers.”
3. Don’t Compliment a Woman too Much or Too Often
Compliments that are dispensed too often lose their charm and effectiveness. Generally, you should not be complimenting women more than once in a single conversation/date. Being too generous with compliments will send all kinds of wrong messages to a woman – from her thinking that you are a player, or that you are boring and you have nothing else to say except giving her compliments, or that you are so desperate for attention that you will do whatever it takes to be liked by her. Sooner or later, receiving too many compliments becomes annoying. Complimenting too much is also one way to end up in a friends zone.
4. Sometimes, Not Complimenting a Woman is a Bad Idea
Imagine a girl you are going out with on a first date or one of your first dates spent hours picking out an outfit to look her best, doing her make up, nails, hair, etc…. And when you show up to meet her, you don’t even acknowledge how great she looks. This can start things on the wrong foot, as she might think that you either don’t care, or don’t find her outfit all that amazing , or take her effort for granted. This might be very far-fetched conclusion on her part that assumes way too many things for no reason, but hey – this is a signature logic of many, if not most, women who tend to read into everything you do, or don’t do. So, if the girl you are going out with has put herself together, give her a compliment. Tell her how great she looks.
5. Make Sure That All Your Compliments are Sincere
I think that most people, including myself, are not very good at faking and saying something they don’t mean. I know that if I were to give someone a compliment that wasn’t sincere, it would show through my voice, gestures and facial expressions that I don’t mean what I say, so I simply don’t do that. Also, it’s so much easier and more fun saying flattering things that are actually on your mind. So, if the girl could lose a few pounds, don’t tell her that she has a body of a super model. If she tries something on and ask you whether you like what you see, and you don’t, tell her that you could think of a few outfits that would be more flattering to her. Not every woman can handle that kind of honesty, even though they might say they want nothing but honesty, but many will, and many women will find your directness to be both attractive and refreshing.
6. Turn a Generic Compliment into a Unique One
You can say the same generic compliment in a way that would make it sound more unique and more interesting. For instance, when you meet her for a date and she looks great, instead of saying that she looks beautiful. You can look up and down and say: “Hold on a second, let me take a few moments to appreciate what I see. Ok, now I am intimidated. I wonder if paparazzi will be following us since you look like some kind of star.” This is one kind of attractive humor and complimenting that will surely break the ice if done at the right time and the right way.