Banter and flirting go hand in hand when it comes to intriguing and attracting women. Being playful in a witty way is one of the most effective and fun ways to build attraction with a woman when you meet for the first time or on a first date, especially if you enjoy and appreciate intellectual stimulation and you are looking for the same in a woman. Banter is also important to maintaining attraction after you have started seeing someone. Sarcasm, playful witty humor, and teasing spice up the interaction between potential and actual romantic partners. This kind of dry humor also indicates that you have a quick mind, sharp wit and you are fun to talk to and be around. For many women, sarcasm and banter in a guy is an ultimate intellectual turn-on. Often, banter and teasing is what keeps an interaction away from the “friends zone” that so many men out there dread and do not like falling into. However, there is a number of things that you, as a guy, need to know about banter and teasing to use it as effective as possible:
1. Not everyone responds equally well to sarcasm and banter. While many people enjoy this and even find interactions free of banter to be dry and boring, some people don’t appreciate or don’t understand sarcastic or cynical points of view that are usually part of banter. I am a big fan of banter for many reasons, one of which is that I find teasing to be a great way to find out which women are uptight and stay away from them, because that is my personal deal breaker. I also find that the smartest, the most educated, the most confident and the most interesting women out there are not uptight – they can take a joke an dish one of their own. They are also rarely offended by that which is meant to entertain.
2. Out of all of the women who do enjoy banter, not everyone feels comfortable engaging in banter early on with someone they don’t know very well. Some people are not ready to banter or be teased by a stranger right away. Most of us are not always in the mood to joke around, tease and be teased. We need to get to know someone and see their intelligent, serious side before we feel comfortable joking around with them. For instance, you might meet someone at a café at your local suburban mall, or some other place that doesn’t have much character. You will have a nice conversation, and it will appear that the girl finds you interesting and enjoys the conversation with you. Then when you come out into the parking lot together before both of you leave, you can look around and say in a serious tone: “This place is so beautiful and so unique. I can’t tell if it reminds me of Paris or Rome more.” Is she rolls her eyes, laughing, agreeing with your sarcasm and saying “don’t you wish?”, then the game is on.
3. Finally, there are different types of banter and flirting. Some are more extreme than other. Banter can be in the form of the darkest, most inappropriate, taboo humor, including racial, sexual and other types of comments, such as the one I sometimes hear from my friends that makes me laugh: “Don’t be such a jew” in response to me complaining that something I am supposed to buy is expensive. But banter can also be far more subtle – the kind that James Bond uses in most of this movies with both, women and his enemies. And of course, there are so many degrees of banter in between. You should use the kind of humor and banter that you feel comfortable with depending upon who you are, who you think the woman you are interacting with is, and the circumstances surrounding your interactions, such as where and how you met, how long you have known each other and how open she seems to be to your kind of humor.
And of course, like anything else, too much of a good thing is almost never a good thing. Whenever you engage in banter, don’t overdo it. Don’t go too far with the dark humor, so you don’t come across as some kind of extreme hater or a clown, unless you are one and you are looking for a woman who is on the same channel with you. Also, make sure that there is more to your conversation than just banter and teasing, so that it doesn’t look like you are hiding your real self, your thoughts and your ideas, behind jokes and sarcasm.