So, you laid your eye on this girl who you think is really nice, cool and attractive, but oh, bummer – she has a boyfriend. It’s frustrating and you think “why even bother and try to get together with her?” but deep inside you hope that one day you will have the opportunity to get to know her and get closer to her on all levels. And guess what – one day she does break up with her boyfriend. It might be bad news to her, but you are excited! You feel that there is an opportunity to finally make a move. But how do you do it?
First, it’s very important to know what you should not be doing. Here are two common mistakes you should avoid:
(1) Although you may think that it’s a good idea to come up to her and tell her how much you like her and that you have been waiting for this moment forever, this is hardly ever a good way to move forward. This will only make the girl feel “cornered” and uncomfortable, especially if she hasn’t gotten over her relationship yet. It will confuse her and will not add anything to her being attracted to you and interesting in dating you.
(2) You should also not be her “therapist.” It’s ok to listen to what happened between her and the guy, to sympathize with her break-up and try to console her, but you shouldn’t provide her with daily sessions of listening to all the sob stories, as this will definitely turn your interaction with into a one-way trip to the friends land. Why? Because as I point out in my article on avoiding friends zone with girls, this is what friends do – they listen to each others’ problems and spill their guts to each other.
The best thing you can do is saying nothing to the effect of being happy about her breaking up with the guy or you being interesting in her for a long time, but instead – spend time with her and show those qualities of yours that will make you attractive and desirable. And those are being confident, different and funny. And to get on the right track of becoming a truly confident man, you should read the article on becoming confident with women.
Just being out with her, being a funny, charismatic, and interesting company will give you the opportunity to flirt with her and get physically closer to her when the time is right. And to remind you what “flirting” means exactly, read about what flirting is.
you said she's always with her friends so here is what you do you make yourself an alpha male and the characteristics of an alpha male is the smile, confidence, well groomed, sense of humor, connecting with people and be the social center of the room but you have to play a bit show that you're fun you can show her you're fun just approach tell her friends that you're gonna steal her for a second and you can then have a conversation with her and when you're done return her to her friends and say "it was a pleasure meeting you all and i must be on my way" but if she asks you if you can chat again some time just simply say "depends on if you can behave yourself"
Theres this girl I love and would do any thing for her I first saw her in English I'm only 16 and she's 15 she has a boyfriend and they have been going out for 4 and half years now her mum and dad know about it they came to the school 3 times and my mum and dad knows about it everyone says move on I can't I don't want to I sometimes talk to her but I'm really nervous to I give her a note sometimes I give her a note because I can't say what I want to her I feel like its the end of my life I would die for her she gets upset but I never heave seen her un happy at all she has no Facebook just a phone number that I can't be confident to ask for is there any good way for me to talk to her she's all ways with her friend and her cuz at lunch I all ways care about her and wondering what she thinks about me she tells me stuff that she would to her boyfriend I use to think she liked me her boyfreind doesn't go to the school and its a long distance relationship they see eachotjer in the weekend and sometimes in the week I just want to know how to talk to her with out making her feel uncomefterbull or talk to her alone at lunch how do I do it ?
Having just got divorced, I find this interesting reading.
However, I don't get this thing about "the friend zone". What is wrong with being someone's friend, I mean, to care for their wellbeing, being dependable, having the same interests, etc.? Or, do you see "friend" as someone who pretends to care for you and listen to what you say, but is really just using your friendship in order to get to sleep with you? That's not friendship, that's cruel and manipulative. That's what Nice Guys(TM) do: they don't really care about the girl, they just use friendship to get closer to her, but then all their insecurity and entitlement attitude starts to show and she freaks out. Can't blame her: he just showed he never cared for HER at all, only himself.
If a man cannot really be my friend, he's not going to be anything more. 'Nuff said.
So during my mid terms week, this girl transfers into my period (Highschool) Everybody knows her well in the class, and all the boys were talking to her. I'm like "wow she's popular with the guys." After a some weeks they stopped talking to her, so I came and talked to her. We kept talking and talking, until I found out she had a bf. I told my friend this, and he told me keep talking to her until they break up. So I did. We talk all the time at night, until her bf calls her. But usually we talk every night for an hour. We gain feelings for each other, and she gets on fb normally. But when her and her bf broke up, she stopped getting on fb and more on Facetime with her "friends" which are usually dudes. I'm like the jealous type and kinda pissed off we don't talk as much. and if we do talk she does like one word responses, which I can't get convos from. And I really, really like this girl very much…… I just don't know what to do anymore…
the same applies for you just read what i posted for a reply on sheltons column and visit the website it will help anyone
i need some advice recently a girl with me at work broke up from a 4 years relationship. after 2 months from the break up i like her and i have a lot of feelings towards her, so i started to show her that i like her touching compliments and she got that, and i know that she used to like me even when she was with her bf but i didnt make any move.
so i got the time to tell her that i like her and she told me that she likes me too so when i tried to kiss her she didnt want at first to and told me:" i just got out of the relation with my bf and i dont know what i really feel about u, these feelings maybe only needs." but then she kissed me and make out and she said i dont know what i m doing and she doesn't want to hurt me.
my question is does she really wants me or she just wants her needs to be fulfilled.
I need some advice.l I meet this girl in my class and I managed to get her number. When I called she never picked up than she texted, it said "sorry can't talk at my boyfriend's house can u text." Is she really interested in me and should I be nuetral around her? Should I continue to text/call her?
This begs the question – why would you pursue a girl who has a boyfriend who she is apparently on good terms with?
hey I read a couple of your articles and they really helped me a lot.
But I'm right now in a complicated situation.
First of all, there is this girl which I really like and I hope to get closer with.
But the problem is she just started a relationship with another guy and now I don't know how I should act.
Should I stay more in the background and be more passiv until she maybe sometime breaks up ?
Or should I still just keep going like I did, which means talking to her as a friend with maybe a little more in mind ? (but not directly showing it, just a couple leads)
I appreciate your advices, hope for one soon 🙂
thanks in advance !
Shelton
I have made this mistake in high school and I have to say that I have learned from it. 🙂