Many, if not most, of the disappointments that single guys have in women who they meet and try to attract, go out with and date stem from having unreasonably high expectations from a female behavior. They expect that behavior to be 100% rational and consistent, and the expect that every woman would respond the same way to the same thing that they do and say. This is neither possible nor should be expected, because women are naturally presumptive and emotional in their behavior in general and in their dating decisions. They often don’t know why they like or want a certain guy and why they are not interested in that other, seemingly perfect guy.
Consider a very common situation where you meet a girl, and she seems to be totally into you. You get her number, call her a day or two after but you never hear back from her. How come? Why doesn’t she want to talk to you, if she seemed so interested when you met? Sure, she might be dating someone, or she might have met someone else who she likes better. But it’s also very likely that she simply changed her mind. She thought she wanted to see you again when she met you but then later she realize that she doesn’t – for a reason or no reason whatsoever. There is nothing you can or should do about that. Think about all the time you met someone at a social gathering, you thought you were making a friend, you suggested to meet sometime for lunch or do something together, but then you never followed up on that because you just wasn’t that excited to see that person again. How many times have you done that over the past few years? Thinking about your own decisions and behavior will help you understand that in order for a girl to talk to you again, she has to want to talk to you again and she has to be looking forward to hearing from you.
Therefore, when you meet the girl you like, you must make sure that your initial interaction with her is long enough and meaningful enough to form an impression on her that you are an interesting guy. In other words, if you just exchanged a few pleasantries and had a bland conversation with her about what she does for a living, where she lives, and where she is from, you will just be another average, typical guy she met, who she doesn’t feel a strong like or dislike toward. And the more attractive she is, the more “typical” guys she meets every day, and the less likely you are to stand out in her mind.
In order for that girl to want to talk to you again, you must evoke a more compelling emotion in her. You must be more interesting, or more funny, or more sarcastic or all of the above than the other guys. Make an observation, or even say something controversial that has been on your mind to shake things up. Do you run the risk of saying something that she won’t get or that will rub her the wrong way? Sure. Is it possible that your sarcasm will be too much for her to handle and she will find some of your jokes offensive. Absolutely. But, on the other hand, if she feels the same about that issue you brought up sarcastically or that joke you shared with her that you think is really funny, then you will instantly have a deeper and more meaningful connection with her than having similar hobbies or liking the same food.
The same applies to online dating. You should never waste time on sending generic messages. Your dating profile should be interesting and unique. Send a message that’s funny or through provoking. Don’t be afraid to say something random and unrelated. Many girls won’t be on the same channel as you are, but that’s ok. You are not supposed to be pleasing and attractive every girls out there. You should only attract the few great ones, with whom you have a potential to have a great connection on all levels.
You might be thinking “Well, I am not looking for a deeper connection. I am just looking to meet girls and get laid.” Even if that’s the case, getting girls’ interest by not being average, by not saying average things and not asking average questions is the way to go. A woman will give more sexually to the guy who she finds to be unique, and when she gives more, you get more. You will enjoy having sex with the woman who is excited about being with you so much more than with someone who really doesn’t feel any kind of connection to your mind and your sense of humor.
And the bigger city you live in, the more people you have around you, and the more options attractive women have with men in your geographic area, the more important it is to stand out so that you don’t get lost in the sea of guys who are all the same from a woman’s perspective.
