How Often Should You Be Calling Her

how often do you call a girl you started datingYou might think that the issue of calling women is no longer relevant in this age of texting and e-mail, but it isn’t. Having a real connection and building and maintaining a real relationship likely necessarily requires speaking on the phone at least every now and then. And at one point or another, every guy wonders – how often should he call the girl he met and started seeing in order to maximize his chances to be attractive to her, to have success with her and possible develop a mutual romantic interest. There is that fear of calling too often and being perceived as too available or too desperate on one hand. On the other hand, not calling enough and just texting creates the risk of coming across as not interested and letting the whole interaction “dry up”.

So, how often should you be call a woman you met and started talking to and going out with? Like with most other things, I don’t believe there is a single, universal answer to this question. Every woman is a different and unique individuals and has different expectations and needs when it comes to the nature, the quality and the frequency of communication with men. For some, hearing a man’s voice and getting a call every day is very important and is an essential part of romance and courtship. Other women dread talking on the phone and will be perfectly content just texting or e-mailing you until they see you in person. Many of those women were annoyed by the guys who made them hang on the phone for hours in the past, and they want to avoid the same experience in the future. For the third group a combination of both works best. Having said that, I believe that when it comes to calling a woman you started dating, there is one main factor that should determine how often you should be talking to her – the initial dynamic of your interaction. I believe that most interactions start in one of the two ways, and your frequency of talking to women should be determined by which dynamic your relationship belongs to:

1. “Instant flying sparks” – you met a woman and you are instantly attracted to each other on all levels. You both find each other exceptional and you can’t have enough of each other in bed. When you are not together, you are constantly thinking about each other. You are so excited about life that you have a hard time falling asleep and you wake up much earlier than usual. You are in a great mood during the day, you are fully of energy, and you are much friendlier to people around you. Under these circumstances it would only make sense that you talk to each other on the phone every day that you don’t see each other. It would not make sense to deny this from you and from your woman. The woman might start resenting you if you don’t, as it will be hard to explain while you are not calling her if you have such a great relationship going on. These daily conversations don’t have to be long, but making that call might be a good idea.

2. The second and a more common kind of dynamic is where the two people meet, they are somewhat interested in each other, but they don’t really know each other all that well, and it’s not clear exactly where their interaction is going. It’s possible that you are much more interested in the girl much earlier than she is interested in you, or vise versa. It’s possible that you will grow to like each other and become attracted to each other more as time goes by. At this point, it’s important to have a balance of both showing your attention and interest, but at the same time not overbear each other with your presence in person or on the phone. Calling a couple of times a week in the beginning and then talking more often if and when the relationship grows might be the right way to go.

Of course, once you are in a committed relationship, most women would expect, and justifiably so, to hear from you every day, and ideally it should be something you enjoy doing if you are in a relationship with the right person.

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Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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11 years ago

Call him if you like him

11 years ago

I went on a coffee date two nights ago and it went well. We talked for two hours about random things. It was very relaxed and casual at the end of the date he gave me a quick hug but he didn't ask for my number. Although he has left me his number and he has my email address. He did tell me to call him. I was just wondering why he didn't ask for my number. I do like him, he was fun to talk to. I'm just wondering if I should wait around for him to email me and initiate a second meeting.

11 years ago

Hi, it's me again. I don't know how this is gonna work, she's really not calling nor does she send me messages YET. I think this is the end. It's very obvious, she doesn't have any money left to call me, and she doesn't come online to chat with me either. It's 3 days since I had any contact. She said " I need to go to bed now.." I said " that early?" She said "yes I'm tired" I said " very well, good night, see you soon later" and she said" good night"… Usually she said much bigger things with hearts and much more. This is not really as expected. I hate this shit man, to be completely honest, this is my first relationship with a girl only on the phone, and she's not even met me on real. She doesn't know me on real, and because of that, she wants to break up with me? I hate love. This is just the first time I've had a broken heart!

I've experienced a lot of mistakes. The first time I called her, I didn't mean to call her, I pushed the wrong button! She got surprised, that's what she wrote on Skype. Well, now this is more likely to get worse when you don't call the girl you are interested in and call her.

To me, this is hard, I didn't call her when I had a great relationship going on, and she's started resenting me now. That's what I think has happened now. She might find another guy, and she needs it! I hate party girls get away from those girls. I mean it. Especially young girls, this has just ended with a broken heart.


I find out that she's broken up with me, I just want to thank Practical Happiness for your good tips.

12 years ago

Here's what I did: I'd wait for her in 3 days, then, I told her about what I did when I was busy during the 3 days. It was not on the phone. But, without even making a call in 3 days might had given her some space for her time, that might only start growing worse now. She seemed to be laughing, and she might be the right person for me, it's a good sign after all.

(1)Now it's weekend, and yesterday I'd sent her a message that I was going out with a friend of mine, and I said she should send me a later when she woke up in the morning.

She said she didn't have more than 0,8 dollars left to call or send messages.

She said I could call her whenever I wanted to, but not on school. After that, I didn't call for 3 days! I've changed, and I do what I have to do rather than sending messages all the time when I'm busy.

Now another 2 days after, (1)and no messages yet. It's weekend, and I'm going out with a friend of mine. What happens if she doesn't send a message now that I'm going out with a friend?