How Often Should You Be Calling Her

You might think that the issue of calling women is no longer relevant in this age of texting and e-mail, but it isn’t. Having a real connection and building and maintaining a real relationship likely necessarily requires speaking on the phone at least every now and then. And at one point or another, every guy wonders – how often should he call the girl he met and started seeing in order to maximize his chances to be attractive to her, to have success with her and possible develop a mutual romantic interest. There is that fear of calling too often and being perceived as too available or too desperate on one hand. On the other hand, not calling enough and just texting creates the risk of coming across as not interested and letting the whole interaction “dry up”.

So, how often should you be call a woman you met and started talking to and going out with? Like with most other things, I don’t believe there is a single, universal answer to this question. Every woman is a different and unique individuals and has different expectations and needs when it comes to the nature, the quality and the frequency of communication with men. For some, hearing a man’s voice and getting a call every day is very important and is an essential part of romance and courtship. Other women dread talking on the phone and will be perfectly content just texting or e-mailing you until they see you in person. Many of those women were annoyed by the guys who made them hang on the phone for hours in the past, and they want to avoid the same experience in the future. For the third group a combination of both works best. Having said that, I believe that when it comes to calling a woman you started dating, there is one main factor that should determine how often you should be talking to her – the initial dynamic of your interaction. I believe that most interactions start in one of the two ways, and your frequency of talking to women should be determined by which dynamic your relationship belongs to:

1. “Instant flying sparks” – you met a woman and you are instantly attracted to each other on all levels. You both find each other exceptional and you can’t have enough of each other in bed. When you are not together, you are constantly thinking about each other. You are so excited about life that you have a hard time falling asleep and you wake up much earlier than usual. You are in a great mood during the day, you are fully of energy, and you are much friendlier to people around you. Under these circumstances it would only make sense that you talk to each other on the phone every day that you don’t see each other. It would not make sense to deny this from you and from your woman. The woman might start resenting you if you don’t, as it will be hard to explain while you are not calling her if you have such a great relationship going on. These daily conversations don’t have to be long, but making that call might be a good idea.

2. The second and a more common kind of dynamic is where the two people meet, they are somewhat interested in each other, but they don’t really know each other all that well, and it’s not clear exactly where their interaction is going. It’s possible that you are much more interested in the girl much earlier than she is interested in you, or vise versa. It’s possible that you will grow to like each other and become attracted to each other more as time goes by. At this point, it’s important to have a balance of both showing your attention and interest, but at the same time not overbear each other with your presence in person or on the phone. Calling a couple of times a week in the beginning and then talking more often if and when the relationship grows might be the right way to go.

Of course, once you are in a committed relationship, most women would expect, and justifiably so, to hear from you every day, and ideally it should be something you enjoy doing if you are in a relationship with the right person.